As I was contemplating what to blog I had to ask myself why is it that I’ve been feeling so emotional. I can name a few reasons but tonight I am putting the blame on the new dating site I recently joined. Yes, for 2-months I’ve been on a dating site that has humbled me with plenty of rejection! Think about it, as one prepares to join a dating site I can only assume like me they feel it is a good way to meet someone when life is busy and you don’t hang out in bars.
So, with a little push and a little shove from friends and family I took the plunge and signed up.
I find myself online with others who have opened up their hearts so that other lonely hearts can feed off of them. Beware of the bottom feeders! Men and women both prey on those they feel may make them happy. They send a smile, an email or a wink with hopes of finding love or getting something in return. Now I’ve “heard” of success stories where people have met, have fallen in love and married. But I’ve met no one this has actually happened to. Have you?
What I’ve concluded after emails, winks, calls and some dates is that it takes courage, and thick skin to put your heart and picture out there for others to read and evaluate. We must be confident and ready for, well just about anything! We must know how to accept rejection, and how to kindly reject others because like it or not it’s going to happen to all of us.
So for some giggles as we sip, drink or gulp I am going to share a story or two;
I received an email from a guy who wanted to talk because he felt our profiles were a match. Ok, I check out his profile and we seem to have quite a bit in common (great pics of him healthy and active) Our conversation is easy and humorous. I’m thinking not bad, it’s comfortable and so far no odd quiet moments. As we’re wrapping up the call he proceeds to tell me there is one thing he needs to share with me. My first thought, “Ok, now what?” He then tells me he’d like to get together but just one problem he was in a motorcycle accident a month ago and can’t drive or walk. Seriously? Like I am going to a house of someone I don’t know to pick them up, throw their walker/wheelchair in the back of my car to take them for coffee? Or better yet, I am going to the house of someone who I don’t know hoping he is who he says is and he really is a good guy! Let it be known one of my favorite shows is America’s Most Wanted, and let’s not forget I was married to a police officer.
As I was contemplating my fate on this site I began to feel the need to remove my profile because I was over the top with these men my age who ONLY want to date someone that’s half their age. Or like the one guy I talked to that could not stop asking me if I thought he was nice looking!
Or what about the guy who after 5 dates wants to give me 5 days out of the country, anywhere I want to go. He lays down his black American Express and informs me this card has a lot of money on it! But I said to him, wow I don’t even know your last name! And let’s not forget the guy I met online and discovered we are neighbors! After a few dates he too wanted to take me away but when I graciously explained to him that it was too early for that he disappeared for 3 days. And then on the third day he was seen whizzing by in his jeep with another chick and his surf board!
Truly one must find humor in using online dating because these types of sites can mess with your mind! They can make you second guess who you are, if you’re pretty enough, thin enough, and make you question your self-worth.
My biggest discovery with online dating is that rejection doesn’t feel good. I don’t like it. It makes me put my walls back up in order to protect myself and I’ve worked hard to bring those walls down in order to be ready to invite love back in. I definitely don’t want some dating site to interfere with all of the good work God has done to prepare me for my season of dating!
However, I think for now I am going to keep the profile up because after all, I paid for it. And because I am still a hopeless romantic I’d like to go back to the days of “You’ve Got Mail”, “Must Love Dogs”, and “Sleepless in Seattle” when love came with honor and respect. One thing I know for sure is I will not stop believing for my man! I know he is out there and together God and I will find him!
Sleep well and Sweet dreams!
2 thoughts on “Thursday Night’s NightCap”
Great commentary and reflection, Lorna. You are on the money with a lot of things you said. You’re right. No matter how seasoned and confident we are rejection really does make you as questions. Problem is in this day and age, no one wants to tell you why. There are a lot of players, liars, cheaters, etc. out there and it is a daunting task to try to weed through all of them to find that one person who REALLY wants to know who you are. You are an amazing woman. Stay Strong!
Thank you Marie! I appreciate your wisdom and encouragement!