Great things are happening as I step into the New Year! It begins with a new career, great friends, and new opportunities!
But I had one “dilemma” causing me confusion and of course, it was with a man.
In fall of 2015 while in Israel with our church I met a man who I thought would be great for one of my friends. However, I fell for him when he wooed me and captivated my heart!
Our first adventure was Christmas Eve at Disneyland which lead to more adventures. Hikes, sailing, talks and bike rides were only part of it. But after many dates there was one we never shared, dinner at a fancy restaurant.
I knew better than to date a man who’d never been married or in a longterm relationship. (Meaning longer than 5 years) However, ignoring the signs I invested my heart and learned another valuable lesson on dating – don’t settle.
Ladies know what you want so when they don’t you can get out of their way.
Within 6 months of dating he began distancing himself feeling pressured to have to make a decision to move into a more serious relationship or just date. For me, if the relationship wasn’t going anywhere then we needed to be free to date others. Two months later we agreed to end the relationship.
Apparently we missed each other because we connected again last month and had 7 hours in a car where he shared what caused him issues in the relationship. He then admitted he was pulling away in the end. He felt better. I did not.
Had I heard him correctly? Was he asking to start over, slow. I thought that’s what we were doing and it didn’t work! As much as I love a happily ever after story this appeared to be more of an all about him story.
It was two dates later we had our first last date. I got that nice dinner at A’s restaurant in Newport Beach. It felt more like an obligation and not a date as he asked me why we never had dinners like this when we were dating. Really? I could not help but remind him of how he was watching his weight. Not to mention, he never asked.
Was I supposed to be feeling good about where this was going? If so, I was not.
Sometimes we find ourselves waiting on the wrong man. We allow them back in when we know they don’t want the same things out of a relationship. This time it didn’t take me 8 months to see the signs that this relationship was not going to go anywhere.
I appreciate his “slow” offer but I needed to be true to myself. The alarm went off as I realized if expressing my heart puts pressure on a man, then clearly I’m with the wrong man.
Yes, believe in love and don’t force it.
I promise you this, it won’t take you for a short ride, drop you off and park you somewhere. It will leave you secure when sharing your heart, dreams and goals for the future. Wait for it and don’t settle.