My First Last Date

Great things are happening as I step into the New Year!  It begins with a new career, great friends, and new opportunities!

But I had one “dilemma” causing me confusion and of course, it was with a man.

In fall of 2015 while in Israel with our church I met a man who I thought would be great for one of my friends. However, I fell for him when he wooed me and captivated my heart!

Our first adventure was Christmas Eve at Disneyland which lead to more adventures. Hikes, sailing, talks and bike rides were only part of it. But after many dates there was one we never shared, dinner at a fancy restaurant.

I knew better than to date a man who’d never been married or in a longterm relationship. (Meaning longer than 5 years) However, ignoring the signs I invested my heart and learned another valuable lesson on dating – don’t settle.

Ladies know what you want so when they don’t you can get out of their way.

Within 6 months of dating he began distancing himself feeling pressured to have to make a decision to move into a more serious relationship or just date.  For me, if the relationship wasn’t going anywhere then we needed to be free to date others. Two months later we agreed to end the relationship.

Apparently we missed each other because we connected again last month and had 7 hours in a car where he shared what caused him issues in the relationship.  He then admitted he was pulling away in the end. He felt better. I did not.

Had I heard him correctly?  Was he asking to start over, slow. I thought that’s what we were doing and it didn’t work!  As much as I love a happily ever after story this appeared to be more of an all about him story.

It was two dates later we had our first last date. I got that nice dinner at A’s restaurant in Newport Beach.  It felt more like an obligation and not a date as he asked me why we never had dinners like this when we were dating. Really? I could not help but remind him of how he was watching his weight. Not to mention, he never asked.

Was I supposed to be feeling good about where this was going?  If so, I was not.

Sometimes we find ourselves waiting on the wrong man.  We allow them back in when we know they don’t want the same things out of a relationship. This time it didn’t take me 8 months to see the signs that this relationship was not going to go anywhere.

I appreciate his “slow” offer but I needed to be true to myself. The alarm went off as I realized if expressing my heart puts pressure on a man, then clearly I’m with the wrong man.

Yes, believe in love and don’t force it.

I promise you this, it won’t take you for a short ride, drop you off and park you somewhere. It will leave you secure when sharing your heart, dreams and goals for the future. Wait for it and don’t settle.

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Table For One?

Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”

After a 21 year marriage I thought I’d never get used to flying solo. But I did. In the beginning it was not so easy nor comfortable and then there came a day it felt OK. Over the years I’ve learned to embrace it and enjoy it for many different reasons. However, there are days it can be challenging, like when I would like someone to take out the garbage or fill my gas tank! 

Now, with all kidding aside the best part of my singleness has been having the time to learn more about myself and grow my faith in God. 

Before moving to So Cal a little over 2 years ago the family dynamics were such that I spent more time caring for others than myself. This was not all bad until I began to lose myself along with the dreams tucked away in the secret places of my heart. But then something amazing happened, in spite of the circumstances surrounding me God orchestrated things in my life I never could have on my own and I landed in Newport! Such a beautiful location and one I would’ve not chosen for myself for all of the obvious reasons….mainly feeling unworthy of such beautiful surroundings.

My move to So Cal is one of many blessings and ways God has shown love and care for me. Throughout my successes and failures God remains faithful and I can always count on him to work in my life in spite of my ability to get in his way! 

Yes, I get in his way. Lately I’ve been asking myself this question, “Lorna, What blessings have you blocked or put on hold due to your lack of faith and trust in the God you say you love?”  

If I’m honest with myself, I can think of plenty of times I’ve blown it and lost out on something good. These past couple of months I’ve felt out of synch in a few different areas of life and most importantly with God. Of course I recognized this by my lack of patience and more so when irritability became my new best friend. 

In many of our relationships we find there will be days we have less patience, become weary or irritable. This doesn’t mean we don’t care but it does mean we need to stop and check ourselves because whenever we invest time and energy into anything in life that doesn’t produce the end result we’d hoped for it can leave us out of synch. (Meaning , hurt, frustrated, disallusioned etc.)

So after some much needed R&R I ventured over to Sedona Arizona a place where hearts can heal and our spiritual side is awakened. It is here and alone with God I’ve been able to realign my heart and find rest.
It doesn’t matter how much of life or relationship that gets in the way of what’s important we can always count on, God! His love never changes. No matter how many times we get in his way He always has more blessing waiting for us! More healing! And more life to experience with him!   

The last 5 days could not have been planned more perfectly or in a more divine location for what my heart and soul needed at this time. 

Have you heard the saying, love will happen when you least expect it. Well I say, God always shows up when you least expect it! 

There is so much more to share but I need to go catch my flight home! But for now here is a small example of how God whispers gentle reminders of how he sees and knows our heart and wants to splash us with hope!

My Red Rock Balloon ride offered two balloons and I thought I would be in the one with those who picked me up at 5:30am for this big adventure! Interestingly enough when we got to the site I met a woman who was vacationing on her own as well. We hit it off and we assumed we were on the same balloon ride. However, they called me over and put me in a balloon with none of those who rode over in my van. I was bummed because this group was looking fun! But as we launched into the morning sun with a mild wind brushing against our face I quickly forgot I was alone.  There  amazing views from 1050 feet up in the air looking over a 12 man basket! As I was quietly thanking God for this trip I heard the young man in front of me ask, “Will you marry me?”

No, he wasn’t asking me! Lol! I mean he was in front of me and exactly an arms length away with his sweet soon to be fiancée.  They both serve in the Navy! I looked down and in his hand he held a little white box with a diamond ring that would steal the breath away from any woman. It was exquisite!  

Of course she was crying and then I began to cry as I watched them embrace. As I looked out over the Red Rock to give them their moment I was gently reminded of God’s beauty and majestic ways he reminds us of how he hears and he sees us. 

When we feel out of synch with life we can always count on God to pull us in close to remind us that all good things come to those who wait.  

Until next time!