The Lies We Believe

Every day we’re faced with the choice of what we will believe about ourselves. There will be voices of lies and truth. What we choose to listen to can and will change the trajectory of our life. I ask, “What will you believe about yourself today?”

There is greatness inside everyone of us that God wants to manifest. Purpose and plans that lead to peace and an abundant life. However, if we’re listening to the wrong voice we will never get there.

I came across this picture while searching for quotes on Pinterest. If you take a few minutes and take it in you will see the powerful message it tells. In a time where we’ve excessive bullying at all levels I can’t help but ask, “What lies are you believing about yourself?” The reality of this picture caught my attention as I see so many with potential caving into the lies of others and the media who seek to steal their hopes and dreams while creating confusion over their identity and so much more.

I pray today you will not listen to the voice of lies and will listen for the voice of Truth. The voice of One who sees your beauty and potential. The voice of the One who looks at you with love and acceptance. The voice of the One who came to speak life and not death. May it be that you believe in all you were created to be and so much more.

“The Lord your God is in your midst. A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah 3:17

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My First Last Date

Great things are happening as I step into the New Year!  It begins with a new career, great friends, and new opportunities!

But I had one “dilemma” causing me confusion and of course, it was with a man.

In fall of 2015 while in Israel with our church I met a man who I thought would be great for one of my friends. However, I fell for him when he wooed me and captivated my heart!

Our first adventure was Christmas Eve at Disneyland which lead to more adventures. Hikes, sailing, talks and bike rides were only part of it. But after many dates there was one we never shared, dinner at a fancy restaurant.

I knew better than to date a man who’d never been married or in a longterm relationship. (Meaning longer than 5 years) However, ignoring the signs I invested my heart and learned another valuable lesson on dating – don’t settle.

Ladies know what you want so when they don’t you can get out of their way.

Within 6 months of dating he began distancing himself feeling pressured to have to make a decision to move into a more serious relationship or just date.  For me, if the relationship wasn’t going anywhere then we needed to be free to date others. Two months later we agreed to end the relationship.

Apparently we missed each other because we connected again last month and had 7 hours in a car where he shared what caused him issues in the relationship.  He then admitted he was pulling away in the end. He felt better. I did not.

Had I heard him correctly?  Was he asking to start over, slow. I thought that’s what we were doing and it didn’t work!  As much as I love a happily ever after story this appeared to be more of an all about him story.

It was two dates later we had our first last date. I got that nice dinner at A’s restaurant in Newport Beach.  It felt more like an obligation and not a date as he asked me why we never had dinners like this when we were dating. Really? I could not help but remind him of how he was watching his weight. Not to mention, he never asked.

Was I supposed to be feeling good about where this was going?  If so, I was not.

Sometimes we find ourselves waiting on the wrong man.  We allow them back in when we know they don’t want the same things out of a relationship. This time it didn’t take me 8 months to see the signs that this relationship was not going to go anywhere.

I appreciate his “slow” offer but I needed to be true to myself. The alarm went off as I realized if expressing my heart puts pressure on a man, then clearly I’m with the wrong man.

Yes, believe in love and don’t force it.

I promise you this, it won’t take you for a short ride, drop you off and park you somewhere. It will leave you secure when sharing your heart, dreams and goals for the future. Wait for it and don’t settle.

Thursday Night’s NightCap – Walls

Have good relationships gone bad and created walls around your heart?

Last Thursday I shared some of my humorous dating challenges and how most recently I’ve become aware of what looks like a moat formed around my heart. For the most part I feel justified in its existence. Unfortunately, this wall can only hinder others from entering in and that is not what I want. What I want is to have wisdom, trust and an open heart as I learn to love again and allow someone to love me back.

Tonight I will have my ‘Thursday Nightcap’ be a glass of my favorite Chardonnay, Raumbauer. I’ll share some thoughts on waiting and dating as we look forward to letting love back in.

First, I want you to know I’m coming out of my funk from last week! I first noticed this on my way over to the theater after church on Sunday. I stood looking at the movie board and my eyes caught the new release, ‘The Perfect Guy’ starring Michael Ealy. I immediately walked up to the window and requested my ticket, one please. No, it didn’t bother me to go to a movie alone.

Of course popcorn always helps! After all, what is a movie without popcorn? I must warn you this movie is a thriller with scenarios I feel are important to be aware of while dating. You will know what NOT to do! It definitely reinforced the many reasons one should act wisely and not rush into a relationship. After all, it’s important to give ourselves time to learn about another. Let the good, bad or indifferent surface before rushing into anything unhealthy, or dangerous for that matter!

Seriously, the saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince” was not just a random thought! Not sure about you, but I can’t envision some girl sitting under a tree, wind blowing in her face, leaning back thinking how grand it will be to kiss many men, er frogs…before she finds the handsome prince! No, I imagine that would make her throw herself face down under the tree, pounding her fists in exasperation over the many exhausting dates and bad kisses she’s experienced in hopes of finding her true love.

If only we valued our worth as women and had the wisdom to know what is not good for us, at all times. If we could say in confidence, ‘NO’ to the wrong man and mean it, versus trying to make the glass slipper fit! We would be so happy and free to give our hearts to the right one.

Which leads me to ask, have you made your list of deal breakers? What about your list of must haves? Do you feel ready to enter back into the dating world with unshakable confidence that will keep the moat away from your heart? Are you prepared for more ‘girls nights out’, solo movie nights, and tables for one while you wait for the right man? If so, you’re on the right track! You can’t help but be successful in your search as you trust in the things you know to be true and wait!

As I continue to pray over these Scriptures and work through my dating fiascos, I too am prepared for more of the above. I will press on with patience and not lose hope in love!

I’ve included some Scripture to encourage and help move you to the other side:

*Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be despised. Song of Solomon 8:7

*Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. Song of Solomon 8:4

*May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. 2 Thess 3:5

*Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Cor. 13:4-7

Thursday Night’s NightCap

Be careful little eyes…

Ever been out with the girls or the guys for a night of fun and relaxation and have it turn into a “gripe” session? Before you know it everyone has a story to share, a problem to solve, or a need for something “different” in life because life is no longer fun!  Suddenly, what was once the good ole life has now turned into the daily task of paying bills, working a job you no longer love, cleaning a house that no longer feels peaceful, endless diapers, cranky kids, and significant others that just don’t get you!

I am sure we’ve all been there and possibly done just that, complained to our friends or perhaps anybody that would listen.  Or, maybe worse reached out for something else to dull the pain and fill the void believing it was “fun”.

With nightcap in hand (whatever that means to you..a nice cold beer, crisp glass of vino, hot chocolate or chocolate bar!) I encourage you to think about the good and positive in your life. Create a place where you can reflect, pray and plan for a better way through difficult times, the mundane and not so fun days that try to steal you away from the good ole life.

Remember, it’s a slow fade…