The Lies We Believe

Every day we’re faced with the choice of what we will believe about ourselves. There will be voices of lies and truth. What we choose to listen to can and will change the trajectory of our life. I ask, “What will you believe about yourself today?”

There is greatness inside everyone of us that God wants to manifest. Purpose and plans that lead to peace and an abundant life. However, if we’re listening to the wrong voice we will never get there.

I came across this picture while searching for quotes on Pinterest. If you take a few minutes and take it in you will see the powerful message it tells. In a time where we’ve excessive bullying at all levels I can’t help but ask, “What lies are you believing about yourself?” The reality of this picture caught my attention as I see so many with potential caving into the lies of others and the media who seek to steal their hopes and dreams while creating confusion over their identity and so much more.

I pray today you will not listen to the voice of lies and will listen for the voice of Truth. The voice of One who sees your beauty and potential. The voice of the One who looks at you with love and acceptance. The voice of the One who came to speak life and not death. May it be that you believe in all you were created to be and so much more.

“The Lord your God is in your midst. A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Zephaniah 3:17

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What Does God Say?

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7

Are you tired of how others and the media say you should act, should look and how you should feel?  Do you find yourself trusting the words of others more than God’s?

And why is it we feel the need to be strong all of the time and never show emotion. It’s as if the expectation is for a bunch of robots to show up so no one feels threatened.

Can it be the expectations of others are what we wear everyday…expectation of perfection.  Are the voices in your world telling you if you’ve not done anything spectacular then you’re not worth celebrating?

Hmmm…maybe if we remain conformed to the ways of the world we will wake up looking like the world, and then we can keep our true self hidden.

Now I’m not suggesting we wallow in the hard things of life, or stay stuck.  Not at all!  There is a season to mourn and a season to celebrate.  We’re shaped by the experiences of every season in life.

Ladies, our emotions are a gift from God.  They allow us to be an extension of His love so others may see his miracles lived out in us. In our every win and loss God will develop in us deep compassion and conviction for what matters to him.  He will move us to change, and to be the change the world needs.

Today, may you see and believe just how fearfully and wonderfully you were created by your Heavenly Father:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand –

when I awake I am still with you.
Psalm 139:11-18

Onward,
Lorna

Piece by Piece – Father’s Matter

As mentioned in previous Blogs I was a young girl when my mom moved me to California. To this day I am thankful she found a good man to help raise me and that I could call daddy. As children we can conjure up all kinds of “ideas” and “reason” as to why our families are no longer living together, happy and loving one another. Truth may be we are no longer capable of living together but we can still “parent” together.  And most importantly, we can still love our children together even though we’re apart.

Yes, some parents leave.  Sometimes never to return. By “abandoning” they leave deep wounds.

And many parents stay.  They work hard to give their children what they need to grow and become their best self.  They give them family, love and a place to belong. God bless these parents, and I know He will.

My oldest son and his wife have a blended family.  Both families work well together and parent with love. I am proud of them for the work they’ve done and happy to say my granddaughter is thriving.  I’ve watched her grow into a confident, talented and happy young lady. I am not saying they don’t have challenges.  There are challenges in every home. But the difference they’ve made is all parents are working together to create a loving home for their child!

Not all families have a happy ending. In fact, the family I worked hard to create did not have a happy ending. There were years of challenges with heartache. My divorce ended ugly and my ex refused to cooperate with me for the good of our youngest son. It was a heart  wrenching journey from fear to faith as I worked through the consequences of divorce.

My hope is for us to leave our children free to love and be loved by their parents.  And if one parent walks away from their responsibility then the remaining parent will work to assure their child knows it is not any fault of theirs. Today I share this song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece and as we go from fear to faith we help our children to the other side. (Matthew 7:12)

Thursday Night’s NightCap

“If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. “If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:24 & 25

Tonight I want to share with you another Scripture that has tugged at my heartstrings. I stumbled upon this Scripture found in Mark while struggling through my divorce. I was sure I had read it before but it was at the time of my divorce it resonated within and God showed me how selfishness breeds division. It leaves us in a state of “life is all about me” and “all is mine”. Many have found they’ve left the concerns for others behind so they can fully focus on the “me” and what makes “them” happy.

As I read and prayed over this Scripture my eyes were opened to the truth of what happened to my family. It sparked a nerve within and caused me to look more deeply at the truth of how two people who once took the time to care and love one another can find themselves so separate minded they no longer are able to see beyond their selfish desires. What I discovered was the need for happiness trumped the needs and happiness of those they once vowed to love until death do they part. The choice to flee instead of fix was the final step toward division.

As we look at statistics we learn of how the family unit is disintegrating. We learn of the many children who find themselves with more than 1 – 2 homes. Sometimes there are 3 homes they find themselves shared amongst.  Because of our sinful and selfish nature we allow wrong desires to creep into our head and then our heart only to deliver us to a fallen state. And when the world shouts do it YOUR way, and not God’s we can always count on some form of heartbreak. We find our intentions and our homes which began with love now in ruin from divided and selfish hearts.

The more I pondered over this tragedy happening to so many families I began to study some statistics and I came across this study from the Pew Research Center : So what does marriage in the U.S. look like these days? A recent study from the Pew Research Center found a number of interesting trends in their most recent look at marriage in America. For one, the study found that after years of declining marriage rates, the percentage of Americans who have never been married has reached a historic high point. The research indicates that about one in five adults in the U.S. (adult in this case meaning 25 years old or older), or about 42 million Americans, have never been married. Compare that to data from the 1960 Census when just one in ten adults 25 or older had never been married, or about 9% of all American adults; clearly, marriage isn’t the institution it once was.  Interestingly, a larger number of never-married adults than ever before seem to be content with their singledom. In 2010, research indicated that 61% of never-married adults would like to eventually marry someday, while in 2012, that percentage dropped to just 53%.

At one time or another we’ve all lost our way in the noise and mixed messages coming from the world. We’ve slammed down our fists and shouted, ‘Enough!’ as we’ve chosen OUR way because after all, we deserve to be happy. We’ve opted out of the ways of God convincing ourselves they’re too confining and we will take our chances. In my opinion, the ramifications of our choices were not considered as the door slammed behind us. Not to mention the broken hearts as loved ones walked away.  Had self-sacrifice and the honor of commitment been taken more seriously I believe the story and statistics would look much different from what we see today.

Should it surprise us that more people are waiting to marry and start families? Could it be the heart wrenching effects of their family unit falling apart that left scars screaming with the pain every time they came close to love. Maybe love to them has become something they cannot comprehend from losing so much from the divorce in their family, and so they shy away in fear of failure.

Now, I realize it is not always two people wanting a divorce in a marriage. I do understand life circumstances can become critical to the well-being and safety of some family members, and in the name of safety one must move on. But what I cannot buy into is the excuse of no longer being happy, or fulfilled. Or, the feeling of life has passed you by and you need something else to make you feel invigorated again. These are methods of madness that breed selfishness and rob you and your loved ones of a family that should stand strong together through the storms of life because of love and commitment.

As you can see, I can speak to this subject matter for hours but I realize it’s Thursday and many of us work tomorrow and so I’ll put it to rest for now. However, you must know this is a “heart topic” of mine that still bleeds a little every time I confront it. It bleeds over the pain and scars that have been left on the hearts of my son’s. I firmly believe the ramifications of divorce cannot go unnoticed and must no longer be ignored. These are critical times for our children and our grandchildren. Whatever our families look like today we must do what is right in hopes of keeping them grounded and together. We must rally together with support and love so there is never any doubt in their mind of how much they’re loved by both parents.

If you find yourself at the crossroads of divorce because there is a gap in your relationship that has become so wide you no longer can see over to the other side then I want to encourage you tonight. My hope for you is to seek help and not divorce. My prayer for you is to have the Creator of marriage, God, show up and speak truth into your life. A resounding shout of truth to drowned out all lies leaving you pulled away and separated from those you love and those who depend upon you.

Hope

In the year 2006 most of my weekends were spent visiting my youngest son at a State Penitentiary. This went on for too many years and it began to take its toll on me and my family. There were days it felt like the pain, fear, and disappointment would never end. There were other days I’d find myself distracted with thoughts of how it would end. Unfortunately, both left me with anxiety.

During these troublesome and heart wrenching years I worked hard to stay focused on life, my job, and keeping what was left of my family on track. Had it not been for my faith in God I truly don’t know where I would be today. When the reality of what our family faced raised its ugly head, the fear inside gripped every muscle in my being and captivated every thought. Panic attacks would enter in at the most inopportune times and no matter where I was, I would make a mad dash for the nearest restroom. I would hide in a stall praying, while trying to calm myself and my breathing, hoping no one would walk in on me. God was watching out for me because no one ever did. After what felt like long periods of time, I would straighten my clothes, push the hair back from my sweaty face and walk over to the sink. I would wash my face and look at myself in the mirror in disbelief. I wondered if I would be able to handle all that was going on around me.

There were days my faith was weak and I could not pray. I found myself going through the motions and just waiting for the day to end. It wasn’t like I looked forward to tomorrow. I just needed to get through the day. That became my prayer, “Lord, please just get me through the day, Amen.”

In the beginning there were many nights I’d fall asleep next to my Bible instead of reading it. I found it painful to read but also knew it was the one thing no one could take from me. It was the one thing that would never change. It felt like an old friend I knew would be there when I was ready to embrace it again. It would be waiting for me to open back up, and I would once again soak in the truth of God’s love for me and my family. Please don’t misunderstand, in no way did I blame God for anything my family and I were experiencing. Sometimes in life we suffer at the hands of others, and other times we suffer from our own bad choices.

The artwork on the wall in my home office reminds me of that season of life. The framed drawings bring back memories of a time I felt paralyzed in different areas of life. They remind me of how I had to come to the end of myself, to find myself.  It was there I could fully understand God’s unconditional love.

As I admire this artwork drawn by prisoners, I am reminded of how everyone has a story. Some stories end well, others don’t. What I find important is the men behind these drawings. The talent and passion that came with the hope that maybe someone would recognize them for much more than their troubles and dark places that brought them to this place of confinement.

Had they foreseen the wasted years in the desert land of a living hell, would they have made better choices? I wonder if those nearby would have heard their cry for help and came to their aid? Were those they counted on most, the ones who turned their back? Is the rejection of others what pushed them to go the wrong way?

There was a day I believed in the judicial system from years of being married to a police officer. Yet In this hard season I found myself awakened to the truth of what the other side of the law looks like. I saw firsthand how the system doesn’t work. I learned there is no “real” rehabilitation in prison. I saw for myself how it has always been a housing unit for the rebellious, unloved, abused, unpopular kids and those who give themselves over to plain evil.

It was the system I despised the most, that God used to soften my heart. The heart that had become hardened through years of being married to a police officer was learning to love others in a new way. It was the experience of heartache and loss in my own family that opened my eyes and expanded the truth of God’s love for this world. It broke my heart in new areas I never knew existed because I was too good, too prideful and busy to care about anything that would never touch me or anyone I loved. Or so I believed.

Today as I look up from my desk and see the drawings on my wall staring back at me, I see hope. The hope God planted deep inside of me that helped me not give up. The inspiration hope brings through the support of others during challenging times. A hope that left me feeling loved and cared for when I felt unlovable and like a failure as a Mom. The hope that came through provisions that looked impossible but God said, “Nothing is impossible with me!” These are just a few of the different ways God showed up and said, “I am with you to the end and I will never forsake you.”

If you’re feeling like you’ve lost hope or someone you care for has lost hope then I want to leave you encouraged. The truth will set you free and God’s promise to never leave you will pull you through to the other side, if you let him:

*For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37

*I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

* Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I

will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 KJV

*Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, [and] there is nothing too hard for thee. Jeremiah 32:17 KJV

*What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 ESV

*No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV