GRACE

The wise, kind spirit that sees all and understands all.  It believes in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves.  It embraces our journey and has the highest hopes for us.  It shares our sufferings and inspires us to endure to the end, arise and move forward.  It is humble, patient and gentle.  It rejoices in Truth and the lessons of life; It speaks on our behalf.  It is the heavenly spirit that celebrates growth.  The Father of the Prodigal Son was full of grace.  (Luke 15:11-32)

Shortly after my move to Newport in 2014 I decided to make my way over to Balboa Island which soon became a favorite place of mine.  Surrounded by cozy beach homes with roof top views of beautiful sunsets, and the smell of the fresh ocean air. As I made my way over to the S Bay Front anxious to see the boats coming in after a day out at sea I came across a little store with cards.  The picture of the heart drew me to the post cards and the quote above referencing the book of Luke.  I must’ve read this post card 10 times before purchasing it, and I’m not sure how many times I’ve read this Scripture.  I just know it’s too many to count.  But this particular day it tugged at my heartstrings and I knew I had to have it.  I had to have it on my desk to read every day.  Another reminder of the grace lavished upon us by our Heavenly Father.

Interesting how I’ve always thought of this Scripture being solely about the ungrateful son that took his dad’s wealth, acted foolishly and denied the father’s love and his heritage for the things the world could temporarily offer him.  And, I’d think to myself, “Oh, those kids when will they learn!”

Of course being a parent I could relate to the experience with the son in Luke.  I too had experienced the rebellion of kids who I love dearly and sacrificed for.

But this day it was different.  As I stood reading the post card synopsis of Luke 15: 11-32 I heard God’s soft voice whisper, “I do this for you.”

The gentle whisper of God reminding me of who I am in him and how much he loves me.  My heart was touched as I stood there realizing how Jesus’ words written by Luke were for me.  They were reminders of my own rebellion toward my Heavenly Father.  A reminder of the times I too insisted on my own way, choosing not to wait on God.

It was his grace covering my sin.

Suddenly I became overwhelmed with gratitude over the thought of God celebrating our growth!  Just as we celebrate the growth of our children, He too celebrates ours!  He rejoices in Truth and the lessons of life we so gingerly learn!  Without them, how would we know of his deep love for us. He believes in us even when we don’t!  He desires us to arise and move forward!  He say’s to us, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Ah, how wonderful it is to be called a daughter of the Most High King!

Onward,
Lorna

Post Card/Picture created by: Larry Martin

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DV Awareness Day#26: Abuse and Pediatric Injuries — The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

A must share that will make you weep.

Child abuse injuries… are more common than we know… for the child seldom talks… and most deep wounds don’t show. And many are sexual… with inappropriate “play”… but these adults know better… and threaten children not to say. And these sexual wounds… are not evident like a broken bone… so we have to watch for […]

via DV Awareness Day#26: Abuse and Pediatric Injuries — The Abuse Expose’ with Secret Angel

Piece by Piece – Father’s Matter

As mentioned in previous Blogs I was a young girl when my mom moved me to California. To this day I am thankful she found a good man to help raise me and that I could call daddy. As children we can conjure up all kinds of “ideas” and “reason” as to why our families are no longer living together, happy and loving one another. Truth may be we are no longer capable of living together but we can still “parent” together.  And most importantly, we can still love our children together even though we’re apart.

Yes, some parents leave.  Sometimes never to return. By “abandoning” they leave deep wounds.

And many parents stay.  They work hard to give their children what they need to grow and become their best self.  They give them family, love and a place to belong. God bless these parents, and I know He will.

My oldest son and his wife have a blended family.  Both families work well together and parent with love. I am proud of them for the work they’ve done and happy to say my granddaughter is thriving.  I’ve watched her grow into a confident, talented and happy young lady. I am not saying they don’t have challenges.  There are challenges in every home. But the difference they’ve made is all parents are working together to create a loving home for their child!

Not all families have a happy ending. In fact, the family I worked hard to create did not have a happy ending. There were years of challenges with heartache. My divorce ended ugly and my ex refused to cooperate with me for the good of our youngest son. It was a heart  wrenching journey from fear to faith as I worked through the consequences of divorce.

My hope is for us to leave our children free to love and be loved by their parents.  And if one parent walks away from their responsibility then the remaining parent will work to assure their child knows it is not any fault of theirs. Today I share this song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece and as we go from fear to faith we help our children to the other side. (Matthew 7:12)

Thursday Night’s NightCap!

Parents are not perfect.

As much as we love we too have moments of selfishness and sometimes in our selfishness we’ve been known to leave scars.

One of my favorite scenes from the Rocky movies is where Rocky Balboa tells his son how proud he is of him.  He gives the speech every son needs to hear. (Actually every son and daughter!)

With emotion he warns his son of the world in which we live and what matters is how much we can take and keep moving forward because that’s how winning is done.

I say to every young man whose parent has left a scar this message is for you.  For every parent who has struggled with the words, “I love you and I am proud of you.”  This is for you.

Let’s speak life into the lives of our children!  May our words echo how much they’re valued and loved! In times of difficulty may our actions be ones that encourage and strengthen them so they will know how to take the hard knocks in life.

Jesus warned us in this world we would have troubles.  He then provided the answers as to how we would be able to overcome!  Now it’s our responsibility to take this message to our children so they will know how to overcome and persevere in a broken world. I hope this doesn’t sound “preachy” because that is not my intention. There have been plenty of times I’ve failed my son’s and I know I’ve contributed to some of the scars they carry.  I write with a humble heart that has experienced it’s own pain as I’ve watched my son’s navigate through hard knocks in their lives!

It’s inevitable we will fail our children at times because we will not always parent perfectly.  However, our words of affirmation can take our kids to a place where they not only believe in our love but live like they’re loved.  In that courage and love they will soar and we will proudly watch them overcome the things in life that try to take them out. Jesus warned us and provided the answers so all would have the power within to know of his love and know the truth of what it means to overcome!

“I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Tonight let’s raise our glass in honor of our children: May we be cognizant of our words speaking enough love that will infuse them with the courage needed through their troubles to get back up and move forward!

Thursday Night’s NightCap!

Have you seen the Disney movie “Up”?

This movie came out in 2009 and is one of my faves! If you’ve not seen it then I highly recommend that you do!  Yes, I know it’s Disney and why would us adults watch a Disney without the kids?  I believe this movie was especially made for adults and then they added some humor for the kids!  “smile”

In this movie you will meet Carl and Young Ellie who fall in love and stay in love. They grow old together. They begin their life together with hopes and dreams but then life happens. Before long they discover things break, house repairs are needed, and disappointments are inevitable.

But you know what I love about Carl and Ellie the most is how they love each other in spite of all life throws at them!

The first time I watched this movie I was reminded of how I don’t want to grow old alone. (Not to mention the thought of having to ride up and down the stairs on a motored chair when the day comes where I no longer can walk up and down them!)

But truly this movie pulls at the heartstrings in many ways as Carl and Ellie begin their life adventure as a couple working side-by-side to build a home and a family.  Before too long they’re faced with the realities of life that sometimes bring sorrow that so many have experienced.  One is that Ellie finds out she is unable to have children. But what they do next is a life lesson for us all!  They dream new dreams and plan new adventures. Now use your imagination and go with me on this one!  Ellie creates her Adventure Book and the two of them continue on with life making adjustments as they go.

The beauty this animated film displays is we all will struggle at times and we may discover things don’t always end up the way we’d planned. Life goes on and so must we.

Let’s face it, we’ve all experienced what it feels like to deplete our savings and our emotions for the unwelcome emergencies of life!

I look at Carl and Ellie as another couple to leave us and our kids an example of what it looks like to love, work together, and live out “until death do we part.”

And yes, even when Carl was grumpy and life became mundane!

Finally they come to the end and Ellie passes leaving behind her “Adventure Book” which eventually motivates Carl to continue on with life.

I hope you will take the time to watch this sweet and fun movie that reeks of hidden treasure!

Tonight let’s raise our glass to Carl and Ellie!   Let’s also toast you and me as we look forward to a future of love that inspires and keeps us committed to going the distance.

Thursday Night’s NightCap!

I hope this week has been good to you!

I can hardly believe we’re in the last week of October and before we know it we will be celebrating a New Year! Seriously as I glance over my calendar I ask myself, ‘where has the time gone?’ I am awe struck as to how quickly times is passing and how much there is still to do! What about those dreams, goals and desires we all long to see manifested in our lives. This calls for focus and the ability to push through over to the other side so not to miss out on all God has for us!

With that said, I want to remind you there is life after divorce! There is hope and a purpose for things yet to come for you and your children. Just because one part of life has ended doesn’t mean there won’t be a new life ahead to be embraced and celebrated. We cannot and must not allow the disappointments and sorrows of yesterday rule our tomorrows.

Now, I realize after my divorce 14 years ago there were times I became overwhelmed and I found it difficult to stay positive as I chipped away at rebuilding my new life. Some days were good and others, not so good. Not to mention how difficult it can become when divorce becomes a battle between the two sexes. However, there is beauty to be found when we’re stuck and in not so comfortable predicaments! No really! In these battles we may find ourselves outside of our comfort zone with only one place to turn. We may find we need to look deep within our soul in hopes of finding purpose in our pain as we look at the truth of who we’ve become. Good, bad or indifferent. We must look at those not so friendly places of our being and rediscover parts of ourselves that have been buried, and are no longer recognizable. It may be time to resurrect the buried character we’ve lost through the trials with new-found strength and love. It’s imperative we rekindle a love within so we can easily break free from the bondage which held us hostage in our past. Those broken areas that have left us stifled and unable to live a life the way God intended for us.

Are there pieces of your heart still needing to be set free in order for you to walk into your new place of truth. The place of truth where one can be authentic while creating a new life for themselves and those they love. No more façade.

Does that sound refreshing and freeing to you? Well this is what God want’s for us! Believe it or not, he does not want us bound to a past that has tripped us up, wounded us and left us with battle scars. He came to free us from those ugly parts of life that left us fearful and unable to live whole and free. His desire for us has always been that we live life authentically where we no longer have to work to experience freedom but put our trust acceptance in Him and his truth. How great to know there is One who loves us unconditionally. The One who accepts us just as we are and where there is no condemnation. A God who delivers us into a new freedom where we’re loosed to enjoy all of his creation.

Tonight I hope to leave you with a verse that encompasses these thoughts with the hope that you too can find your place of freedom.

“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.”

Today step into your freedom leaving the pain from the past behind you. Allow yourself to find happiness again.  Get excited about life and all it has to offer you!  May the children touched by divorce see transformation in the lives of their parents so they too can be set free. May resentment, bitterness and regret be a thing of the past so new life can spring into action leaving you breathless because of joy and not strife!

Cheers!

Thursday Night’s NightCap

“If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. “If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:24 & 25

Tonight I want to share with you another Scripture that has tugged at my heartstrings. I stumbled upon this Scripture found in Mark while struggling through my divorce. I was sure I had read it before but it was at the time of my divorce it resonated within and God showed me how selfishness breeds division. It leaves us in a state of “life is all about me” and “all is mine”. Many have found they’ve left the concerns for others behind so they can fully focus on the “me” and what makes “them” happy.

As I read and prayed over this Scripture my eyes were opened to the truth of what happened to my family. It sparked a nerve within and caused me to look more deeply at the truth of how two people who once took the time to care and love one another can find themselves so separate minded they no longer are able to see beyond their selfish desires. What I discovered was the need for happiness trumped the needs and happiness of those they once vowed to love until death do they part. The choice to flee instead of fix was the final step toward division.

As we look at statistics we learn of how the family unit is disintegrating. We learn of the many children who find themselves with more than 1 – 2 homes. Sometimes there are 3 homes they find themselves shared amongst.  Because of our sinful and selfish nature we allow wrong desires to creep into our head and then our heart only to deliver us to a fallen state. And when the world shouts do it YOUR way, and not God’s we can always count on some form of heartbreak. We find our intentions and our homes which began with love now in ruin from divided and selfish hearts.

The more I pondered over this tragedy happening to so many families I began to study some statistics and I came across this study from the Pew Research Center : So what does marriage in the U.S. look like these days? A recent study from the Pew Research Center found a number of interesting trends in their most recent look at marriage in America. For one, the study found that after years of declining marriage rates, the percentage of Americans who have never been married has reached a historic high point. The research indicates that about one in five adults in the U.S. (adult in this case meaning 25 years old or older), or about 42 million Americans, have never been married. Compare that to data from the 1960 Census when just one in ten adults 25 or older had never been married, or about 9% of all American adults; clearly, marriage isn’t the institution it once was.  Interestingly, a larger number of never-married adults than ever before seem to be content with their singledom. In 2010, research indicated that 61% of never-married adults would like to eventually marry someday, while in 2012, that percentage dropped to just 53%.

At one time or another we’ve all lost our way in the noise and mixed messages coming from the world. We’ve slammed down our fists and shouted, ‘Enough!’ as we’ve chosen OUR way because after all, we deserve to be happy. We’ve opted out of the ways of God convincing ourselves they’re too confining and we will take our chances. In my opinion, the ramifications of our choices were not considered as the door slammed behind us. Not to mention the broken hearts as loved ones walked away.  Had self-sacrifice and the honor of commitment been taken more seriously I believe the story and statistics would look much different from what we see today.

Should it surprise us that more people are waiting to marry and start families? Could it be the heart wrenching effects of their family unit falling apart that left scars screaming with the pain every time they came close to love. Maybe love to them has become something they cannot comprehend from losing so much from the divorce in their family, and so they shy away in fear of failure.

Now, I realize it is not always two people wanting a divorce in a marriage. I do understand life circumstances can become critical to the well-being and safety of some family members, and in the name of safety one must move on. But what I cannot buy into is the excuse of no longer being happy, or fulfilled. Or, the feeling of life has passed you by and you need something else to make you feel invigorated again. These are methods of madness that breed selfishness and rob you and your loved ones of a family that should stand strong together through the storms of life because of love and commitment.

As you can see, I can speak to this subject matter for hours but I realize it’s Thursday and many of us work tomorrow and so I’ll put it to rest for now. However, you must know this is a “heart topic” of mine that still bleeds a little every time I confront it. It bleeds over the pain and scars that have been left on the hearts of my son’s. I firmly believe the ramifications of divorce cannot go unnoticed and must no longer be ignored. These are critical times for our children and our grandchildren. Whatever our families look like today we must do what is right in hopes of keeping them grounded and together. We must rally together with support and love so there is never any doubt in their mind of how much they’re loved by both parents.

If you find yourself at the crossroads of divorce because there is a gap in your relationship that has become so wide you no longer can see over to the other side then I want to encourage you tonight. My hope for you is to seek help and not divorce. My prayer for you is to have the Creator of marriage, God, show up and speak truth into your life. A resounding shout of truth to drowned out all lies leaving you pulled away and separated from those you love and those who depend upon you.