Iron Sharpens Iron

Thank God for friends who do life with us!

What beautiful friendships I’ve been given with these women who love God, life and one another.

My move to So Cal was such an amazing experience God used in many different ways.  As I reflect over those 5 years I’m humbled by how God loved me into a new season of healing, self reflection and most importantly – how he taught me to be happy single!

A few months back I told myself to get busy and blog about all God had done.  His grace and life lessons were to be shared in hopes of encouraging others during life’s hard transitions. However, I did not realize my life was about to change in a BIG way.  In a flash, and I mean in a flash God orchestrated some events and moved me back to the Bay Area.

Truly, I did not feel I’d ever move back…to live…to start again.  It was not in my plan because I had fallen in love with So Cal, my church, the community, new friends and of course the beautiful weather and beaches. It was all so good!

However, what I missed the most about being away from the Bay Area was my precious family.  Once again my heart overflows with gratitude for the time God is giving me back to love on the littles, and share in their life in a new way.

As I sit in my new apartment writing this morning there are streams of sunlight peeking in at me, and my heart is touched by God’s gentle reminder of what we all know so well.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps”
Proverbs 16:9

Through it all God is faithful to fulfill all his promises and bring us what we need to accomplish all he has for us.  So many things…whether it be new friends, new surroundings, or seasons of reflection and learning.  May we never doubt God’s perfect plan and strategy in bringing his people to their greater purpose.

Onward,
Lorna

 

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A Thankful Heart!

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself. Psalm 89:1-2

It is with an over flowing heart of gratitude to God for all that he has done and continues to do as He showers us with love and makes himself known!

Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Piece by Piece – Father’s Matter

As mentioned in previous Blogs I was a young girl when my mom moved me to California. To this day I am thankful she found a good man to help raise me and that I could call daddy. As children we can conjure up all kinds of “ideas” and “reason” as to why our families are no longer living together, happy and loving one another. Truth may be we are no longer capable of living together but we can still “parent” together.  And most importantly, we can still love our children together even though we’re apart.

Yes, some parents leave.  Sometimes never to return. By “abandoning” they leave deep wounds.

And many parents stay.  They work hard to give their children what they need to grow and become their best self.  They give them family, love and a place to belong. God bless these parents, and I know He will.

My oldest son and his wife have a blended family.  Both families work well together and parent with love. I am proud of them for the work they’ve done and happy to say my granddaughter is thriving.  I’ve watched her grow into a confident, talented and happy young lady. I am not saying they don’t have challenges.  There are challenges in every home. But the difference they’ve made is all parents are working together to create a loving home for their child!

Not all families have a happy ending. In fact, the family I worked hard to create did not have a happy ending. There were years of challenges with heartache. My divorce ended ugly and my ex refused to cooperate with me for the good of our youngest son. It was a heart  wrenching journey from fear to faith as I worked through the consequences of divorce.

My hope is for us to leave our children free to love and be loved by their parents.  And if one parent walks away from their responsibility then the remaining parent will work to assure their child knows it is not any fault of theirs. Today I share this song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece and as we go from fear to faith we help our children to the other side. (Matthew 7:12)

Thursday Night’s NightCap

“If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. “If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:24 & 25

Tonight I want to share with you another Scripture that has tugged at my heartstrings. I stumbled upon this Scripture found in Mark while struggling through my divorce. I was sure I had read it before but it was at the time of my divorce it resonated within and God showed me how selfishness breeds division. It leaves us in a state of “life is all about me” and “all is mine”. Many have found they’ve left the concerns for others behind so they can fully focus on the “me” and what makes “them” happy.

As I read and prayed over this Scripture my eyes were opened to the truth of what happened to my family. It sparked a nerve within and caused me to look more deeply at the truth of how two people who once took the time to care and love one another can find themselves so separate minded they no longer are able to see beyond their selfish desires. What I discovered was the need for happiness trumped the needs and happiness of those they once vowed to love until death do they part. The choice to flee instead of fix was the final step toward division.

As we look at statistics we learn of how the family unit is disintegrating. We learn of the many children who find themselves with more than 1 – 2 homes. Sometimes there are 3 homes they find themselves shared amongst.  Because of our sinful and selfish nature we allow wrong desires to creep into our head and then our heart only to deliver us to a fallen state. And when the world shouts do it YOUR way, and not God’s we can always count on some form of heartbreak. We find our intentions and our homes which began with love now in ruin from divided and selfish hearts.

The more I pondered over this tragedy happening to so many families I began to study some statistics and I came across this study from the Pew Research Center : So what does marriage in the U.S. look like these days? A recent study from the Pew Research Center found a number of interesting trends in their most recent look at marriage in America. For one, the study found that after years of declining marriage rates, the percentage of Americans who have never been married has reached a historic high point. The research indicates that about one in five adults in the U.S. (adult in this case meaning 25 years old or older), or about 42 million Americans, have never been married. Compare that to data from the 1960 Census when just one in ten adults 25 or older had never been married, or about 9% of all American adults; clearly, marriage isn’t the institution it once was.  Interestingly, a larger number of never-married adults than ever before seem to be content with their singledom. In 2010, research indicated that 61% of never-married adults would like to eventually marry someday, while in 2012, that percentage dropped to just 53%.

At one time or another we’ve all lost our way in the noise and mixed messages coming from the world. We’ve slammed down our fists and shouted, ‘Enough!’ as we’ve chosen OUR way because after all, we deserve to be happy. We’ve opted out of the ways of God convincing ourselves they’re too confining and we will take our chances. In my opinion, the ramifications of our choices were not considered as the door slammed behind us. Not to mention the broken hearts as loved ones walked away.  Had self-sacrifice and the honor of commitment been taken more seriously I believe the story and statistics would look much different from what we see today.

Should it surprise us that more people are waiting to marry and start families? Could it be the heart wrenching effects of their family unit falling apart that left scars screaming with the pain every time they came close to love. Maybe love to them has become something they cannot comprehend from losing so much from the divorce in their family, and so they shy away in fear of failure.

Now, I realize it is not always two people wanting a divorce in a marriage. I do understand life circumstances can become critical to the well-being and safety of some family members, and in the name of safety one must move on. But what I cannot buy into is the excuse of no longer being happy, or fulfilled. Or, the feeling of life has passed you by and you need something else to make you feel invigorated again. These are methods of madness that breed selfishness and rob you and your loved ones of a family that should stand strong together through the storms of life because of love and commitment.

As you can see, I can speak to this subject matter for hours but I realize it’s Thursday and many of us work tomorrow and so I’ll put it to rest for now. However, you must know this is a “heart topic” of mine that still bleeds a little every time I confront it. It bleeds over the pain and scars that have been left on the hearts of my son’s. I firmly believe the ramifications of divorce cannot go unnoticed and must no longer be ignored. These are critical times for our children and our grandchildren. Whatever our families look like today we must do what is right in hopes of keeping them grounded and together. We must rally together with support and love so there is never any doubt in their mind of how much they’re loved by both parents.

If you find yourself at the crossroads of divorce because there is a gap in your relationship that has become so wide you no longer can see over to the other side then I want to encourage you tonight. My hope for you is to seek help and not divorce. My prayer for you is to have the Creator of marriage, God, show up and speak truth into your life. A resounding shout of truth to drowned out all lies leaving you pulled away and separated from those you love and those who depend upon you.

Just 5 More Minutes

Ava

Gianna

Emma

I always leave San Jose feeling emotional after visiting with the kids and my grandchildren. As I check in at SJC I of course check in on Facebook letting my friends know how I am feeling. The “Feeling” popup gives so much emotion I am unable to post them all…It’s like a rollercoaster weekend in more ways than one as I try to cram as much fun in as possible with the girls. My anticipated excitement of hanging out with all of them as I prepare to travel to the Bay Area, and wrapping those sweet little girls in my arms reminds me of how time is fleeting, and how we must cherish every minute we have with those we love.

It’s a joy to hang out with these little ones watching the world through their eyes, and hearing about the world from their point of view as they share their stories. Kids see everything as exciting, cool and fun. They don’t care if they’re wearing the same swim suit all day. They don’t care if they play hard and their hair gets messed up. They love to eat dessert first. They love shiny rocks, meeting new friends, and singing out loud. They don’t see anything wrong with sitting on the edge of the pool growling at everyone that goes by (scene of a boy at the pool). They don’t hesitate to ask the questions we’d like to ask but lack the courage to do so. The other thing that gets me is how they can recharge after only resting for about 10 seconds and they feel great!

On one of my flights I had a 5 year old boy take the window seat when another passenger passed by and whispered to me, “He is a really cute little boy, you’ll enjoy him”. Not sure if she was warning me or saw a “look” on my face when he and dad squeezed into their seats. This was the little guy’s first plane ride and his brown eyes were as big as saucers as he watched out the window with excitement and kept repeating, “We’re flying!” While watching the plane rise above the buildings and mountain tops he looked out and said, “Wow, it’s a big place out there!”

As I leaned back in my seat I began to wonder why us adults can’t seem to enjoy our excursions with this much enthusiasm. It really is a big place out there and a wonderful thing to get on an airplane and fly to different destinations around the world. What if we got excited about these “little” things vs. being stressed out over cramming our legs and carryon bags into what feels like a very small space to bump shoulders with a stranger? What if we just said hi to strangers crossing our path and threw them a smile as we continued happily on our way. How simple it would be if we could muster up the courage to swim all day and not worry about our hair.

While at the pool waiting for the family to arrive I lost count of the many dads walking over to the side of the pool letting their kids know they had “just 5 more minutes.” I watched these kids “hurry” to take one more dive, one more jump, and one more swim to the other side of the pool in their last 5 minutes. They did not want it to end.

I quickly reflected back to the dad on the plane sitting next to me who asked if I had any kids. I told him yes but my kids are grown. He said, “How grown?” As I informed him they were married with kids of their own he of course gave me the compliment any gentleman would give. I told him to savor every moment as time passes quickly and he replied, “Really, well my little guy is active and doesn’t stop talking.” He looked a little exasperated!

I reminded him of how quickly they grow up and it happens in a blink of an eye. POOF and they’re off building lives and families of their own! All good things but do you ever think, “What if we had just 5 more minutes with them? What if we could go back to that memory that was so precious to experience one more time or the memory that wasn’t so precious and have a do over. What if we could have just 5 more minutes?

Some inspiration from one generation to another:

Psalms 145:4  “One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts.”

Deuteronomy 4:9   “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Unknown  “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”