Make It An Easter To Remember

As we prepare to celebrate this Easter season I’m taken back to the summer of 2014 after years of seeking after God and fighting for what I thought was best for my life.

In summer of 2014 I surrendered my will and packed up my belongings and moved to So Cal.  Throughout my journey I had experienced God in the ebbs and flows of life but nothing like I’ve since my move, until I fully surrendered all I loved and lived for.  It was at this time I began to experience the Truth behind Scripture that references seeking God with all of our heart, soul and mind.  Deuteronomy 4:29& 30

I see clearly the hand of God at work.  But I needed to do my part.  Now at this time in life I can see newness of life for me.  The things of old have clearly slipped away.  Now this doesn’t mean I won’t have pangs as memories surface, and many of those memories are sweet.  But for the trials in life that worked hard to take me out, well those have been replaced with new purpose.

His plans for this next journey in my life are beginning to surface as He stirs within my heart the urgency to reach women in every stage of life and challenge them to seek after God with all their heart, soul and mind.  When doing this we experience the power of God living inside of us! The power many of us miss out on because we’re too busy attempting to do things in our own strength.

There is nothing God cannot do when we’re surrendering and seeking after Him!  This action provides God full access to use us without “us” hindering His plans.  Read His Word and you too will see the many acts of love, kindness, sacrifice, and power He displayed so others would be courageous enough to step forward and begin their journey with Him.  The forces working against us are the very things God is working out for our good.

In an ever changing, callous and confused world we live in, is there any doubt we need more Kingdom Keepers?  Together we can walk out “on earth as it is in heaven” and bring the Kingdom of heaven to this earth one life at a time.  As we prepare for eternity should we not be preparing others so they too can experience the love of God that transforms lives.

I want to encourage you to reach out to the women in your life and share the hope of Jesus this Easter season.  Spread the good news that Jesus has risen!

Let’s fight for each other vs. against one another as we seek freedom to live life abundantly in an ever changing world. The sacrifice God made for us clearly represents the sacrifice of a loving Father who desires us to experience all He has purposed for us.  Now we just need to take that leap of faith!  The faith that drives out fear and provides strength and wisdom to walkout our journey in the power of a living God who loves us.

Who would not want to test that out!

I challenge you today as we approach Good Friday and Resurrection Day to surrender those things that have you tangled up.  The remaining life “things” that work hard to discourage you and bring you down.  Step out and trust God to raise you up and stir up the purposes He has for the rest of your life.  And then go share the power of Christ living in you and how that is being worked out so others can be set free too!

Play it forward, Pray it forward!

May the blessings of our loving Father be upon you and may you experience the newness of Christ living and working through you.

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One Day Jesus Said…

Luke 8:22-25

“Let’s go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters, the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.  In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”

Have you found yourself drowning in the trials of life, and crying out for God to rescue you?

I know when I’ve gone through trials of any kind I become anxious for God’s intervention. I long for my day of reprieve!

But recently I’ve been pondering the question, “Can we become all we were created to be without experiencing the storms of life?”

So as I reflect I begin to cringe over what might have become of me had I not gone through uncomfortable seasons where loss and sorrow came crashing in.  What if I traveled this journey to never experience God’s hand of power over my life that refined me in the fire!  Or, to see God work his power in the healing of broken hearts, broken dreams, and failed health. These are seasons we try hard to escape but they’re also the seasons which bring us closer to God. It’s when these storms have settled down we find ourselves clothed in His image reflecting the glory of his love and power over our lives! What a beautiful plan for the pain that is inevitable in life.

And I can’t help but wonder if I would hurt for a broken world or just be happy I am not that broken had I not walked through some seasons that produced storms?

And what about the faith needed to overcome the evil schemes of the enemy God cautions about in his Word?  Would my compass reflect a woman of faith?

As much as I/we want our lives to be stress free we all know that is not “real” life.

Like the disciples that cried out and saw the power of God respond it’s my prayer we will continue our journey in confidence knowing we serve a powerful God.  Our God who desires to bring us to complete knowledge and understanding of His love for us through an unshakable faith.

May all your seasons leave you amazed by his love for you and yours!

Love Is the Greatest

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or clanging cymbal…

Love is patient and kind,

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…

Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-

and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13

God bless you and your day.

 

Girl Talk In The Sauna

No matter where we go there is always a conversation going on where someone is trying to figure out a relationship. Much to my surprise after my workout last night I made my way to the sauna to relax (secretly hoping to sweat off another pound). It was then I was enlightened to a new style showing up for the event. Interestingly enough some were fully dressed in their sweaty workout gear. Ok, I thought this odd with the temperature at about 120…and then there were what I call normal ladies (like me) prepared to sweat in a towel. As the room began to fill up we had another guest show up but her towel was twisted on top of her head and she too was in her workout gear! (This was the girl next to me on the treadmill with so much perfume I was forced to find another treadmill – ugh). She immediately went into her squat position pressed up against the wall with her iPhone in hand.  (I was hoping she was timing her squat and not taking videos) After about 15 minutes she had had enough, and so had I. This is not what I call people watching at its best so quickly I found myself a place to lean back and close my eyes but not my ears.  As I tried to focus more on what I was thinking and feeling I could not help but overhear the following conversation and decided to stay a little longer…

This is what went down, “Yeah, I am not sure if he likes me because we only go out when it’s convenient for him so I just wait for him to call and then say ok. He hardly calls though and when he does I can tell he is reading his emails or texting, and only half listening.”  Friend, “Oh wow, that’s not good.  Did you talk with him today?”  “Yes, he called today and asked if I was available Thursday before he leaves for Hawaii and I said yes, just tell me what time. He never gave me a confirmed time so I hope he calls later. I am hoping when he gets to Hawaii and is not at work he will have more time to talk.”

Suddenly my heart began to race as I fought back the urge to say calmly, REALLY?  It took everything inside of me to sit still and not allow myself to slide down onto their bench and join the conversation!  Both of her friends proceeded to tell her not to worry because when he is ready he will have time for her, and they were sure he’d call while vacationing in Hawaii with the guys. It’s always great to have BFF’s but I prefer the raw truth! She then proceeded to tell them how cute he was and how she knows he will be with other girls while vacationing with his buddies. Quickly I opened one eye to see who was sharing her heart and realized she could not be over 30 and she appeared to be pretty. Immediately I began to have a conversation with myself as to why so many singles are willing to find excuses vs. putting the energy into finding the “right” one. It appears most want someone or something so badly they find a way to convince themselves the relationship is everything it is not.  From what I can tell there should be plenty of fish in the sea… (http://www.citylab.com/housing/2015/02/where-in-the-us-are-there-more-single-men-than-women/385369/)

I believe there is someone for everyone if it is our hearts desire to find love. And I know we all deserve the relationship that values and respects us!

I have to say I surprised myself by not speaking up!  However, today I find myself sending prayers her way and wishing her success with love. As we all know love is a very tender thing and we must seek it out by first being tender with ourselves and not allowing anyone to devalue us. With that said, the next time the phone rings exude your “value” and consider keeping that line free for a more deserving call!

Only a Journal Away!

A story is only a journal away.

Well it’s time! I’ve been praying and contemplating on how to get going with the completion of my writing project. You see there have been days it’s been painful and I’ve had to stop. But through it all God has brought healing and encouragement. Today I’m looking at the progress, growth and answered prayers with a thankful heart for the many trials God has brought me through.  I am especially grateful for the tenderness he has uncovered through His mighty Spirit which He has placed so carefully within the walls of my heart.

These are just a few of my journals which boldly remind me of all God has done,  is doing and what is yet to come! I pray the pages can form a story that empowers, encourages and reveals more of God’s love and faithfulness for those who belong to him.  Let us never give up hope because with God all things are possible! Mark 10:27

The best is yet to come…

 

Life & Love Require Action

The past few months have been a whirlwind of events, holidays and a life changing trip to Israel.  In the midst of all the joy and celebration life has availed me I often find myself having to make hard decisions. Such is life!  However, I’ve discovered the best part of life is LOVE.

Anyway you want to look at it, we were created to love and be loved. Unfortunately, love doesn’t always mean sunshine and roses!

There have been deep insights uncovered revealing my heart and soul as I’ve learned to let go and let love in.  What I’ve discovered is there have been times I’ve loved well, and others, not so well.

As I continue on in life I desire to keep learning and growing in this area so I can give to others what God has so graciously given to me, and that being the unconditional gift of love that was meant to set us free.  It’s a love that sometimes feels uncomfortable and other times, too comfortable. It’s a love providing strength and courage while allowing self reflection in hopes of enhancing one’s experience with love.  It’s a love exuding forgiveness.

I’ve found one perfect example of this love in the story of John 3:16 and the more I study and stumble in and out of love in this not so merciful and gracious world I discover what matters most is how I reflect that love.  No matter where I am, be it in a relationship, the store, the gas station, work, home or with a friend how I love is important.  How we love is important. It’s vital to our very soul and the soul of others.

So, I share today a bit of wisdom from a recommended book by a friend, The Seven levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly.

“But in order to love you must be free, for to love is to give yourself to someone or something freely, completely,  unconditionally,  and without reservation. It is as if you could take the very essence of your very self in your hands and give it to another person. Yet to give yourself to another person,  to an endeavor, or to God you must first possess your self. This possession of self is freedom.  It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline…The problem is we don’t want discipline. We want someone else to tell us we can be happy without discipline.”

I highly recommend this book to those in every stage of a relationship as it touches on all levels as well as the dynamics surrounding those levels as you make your way into a deeper and lasting freedom with God and others.

Let me leave you with this thought from page 63:

“With your self in hand,  you can choose to freely and completely give yourself to another person in the mystery of love.”

It Has Been Five Weeks Since My Last…

It has been 5 weeks since my last post and I am not happy about it. Every time I’ve sat down to write I’ve become overwhelmed with what I want to share and get up and walk away leaving the page blank. I’ll type a little, hit delete. Type some more, hit delete. After weeks of this it’s time to rethink the blog so I change my theme. But that is not quite all I need to think about…and then I realize more than ever I need to begin with the end. By the end I mean where I find myself today on Wednesday, August 5, 2015.

The past few weeks have felt a little like a thief casing the outside of my house. It’s dark inside the house and unsettling but he knows there is something good in there and he needs to get to it without disrupting too much around him. And there you have it I’ve been casing the outside of my memory bank acknowledging the goodness of God and how He really does bring good out of the difficulties we encounter. All the while struggling to muster up courage and collect my thoughts to share all that is inside me while working hard to not disrupt too much! You see I find myself in a “happy” place and I want to bask in it for a while because I believe God brought me to this place of rest and beauty to prepare me for the things I will share with others. Things I would have done differently or have learned along the way from going through a divorce, struggling teenagers, and learning how to embrace my singleness after a 21-year marriage.

So beginning with where I am now seems to be perfect after I’ve finally arrived at this point in life where I refuse to give the enemy a foothold to trample around on my territory! Oh, hell no because I’ve become stronger from the adversity I’ve encountered along the way. I hope to share my experiences (good and bad) to bring hope to others who may be facing similar obstacles in their journey. I want to encourage and reassure my readers they’re not alone in this big world. Someone cares about you and what you’re going through! I’ve learned along the way that in every storm there is a glimpse of light and then a rainbow to follow which will brighten up those dark days of the past and work to propel you into the future.

Rick Warren say’s it like this, “Why have to learn from your mistakes when you can learn from the mistakes of others and save yourself the heartache.”

But most importantly, I want the love and grace of God to light up these pages shooting rays of sunshine your way that leave you with hope for today and encouraged to face tomorrow! So join me as I share some good memories and not so good memories, laughter, disappointments and tears as we move into our futures together…one day at a time with the Creator of all good things, God.

Here are three encouraging words to help pull you out and over to the other side:

Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. – Unknown

A mistake should be your teacher, not your attacker. A mistake is a lesson, not a loss. It is a temporary, necessary detour, not a dead end. – Anonymous

For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

Surrender

Singing Away

In the beginning of May a little bird built its nest outside my bedroom window and began singing me awake every morning between 3:00am – 3:30am. At first I thought, how sweet! But that did not last long as this became an every morning occurrence and I was getting worn out from a lack of sleep. After about a week of this I came to the conclusion this little bird must be on East Coast time and I began to pray it would adjust to PDT. However, this did not happen.

It was during this same week I sensed God asking me to “Be still”. Everywhere I went I’d see a sign, a verse, or in my reading these words would pop up, “Be Still”. God often speaks to me through these types of repeated occurrences so I knew, it was him trying to get my attention. However, it can be a challenge for me to be still for long periods of time as my mind begins to race to other things I feel need my attention. It really takes quiet and discipline. The next week I made a point to sit quietly and pray over the things I felt God was nudging me about but after no “Ah Ha” moment I became frustrated. Not to mention I was growing impatient with the little song bird waking me up every morning at 3am.

One thing I know about God is when he wants to teach us something, show us something or tell us something he can be relentless in trying to get our attention. For this I am thankful as I long to know more of God and understand his ways. I am thankful he pursues me with the intent to bring me closer to him and closer to the things he has for me.

So I found myself becoming anxious to unlock this secret of why God needed me to be still and why was this bird waking me every morning at the same time. No matter how much I tried during my meditation and devotional time I found myself struggling with my inability to wrap my heart and mind around what it was God was asking of me, and questions of what, when, how, what, when, how began to race through my mind.

I wanted my “ah ha” moment!

It was after a month of waiting and being woken up by the song bird when I was sitting in Mariners Saturday night service listening to our high school pastor preach. While wrapping up the message he touched on surrender and how important it is to “Be Still” in order to know more of what God has for us, and may be asking of us. Now I know this, I have learned this and I have practiced it. But for some reason God was calling my attention back to being still and I found myself asking, “God, is there something I need to surrender?” I thought I had finally surrendered everything when moving to So Cal but I could not help but feel there was something I might be hanging on to. Our pastor preceded to describe a guy holding onto a raft with one hand while in the water and using his other hand to help keep him a float and I knew I’d been there before!  That feeling of having to hang onto something vs. just letting go and letting God.

As I left church I was conflicted in my ability to “surrender” but more determined than ever to see myself as God sees me, and to learn of what it was I had not completely let go and trusted God for in my attempt to Surrender all things.

The next morning I pulled out my Life Group lesson and as I turned the page there it was again, “Be Still”. And then I thought about my new visitor who sings me to wake every morning and there it was, my “Ah Ha” moment!

It was in that hour of no distraction I discovered I had my heart wrapped tight around some things I’d considered surrendered to God. Apparently I had kept my grip on some things God wanted back. My heart was moved by the truth of how God has my back and knows what breaks my heart and what brings joy.  And so it began to make sense to me. God was asking me to be still so he could show me the things I had yet to completely surrender. The concerns I’d been hanging onto.  He wanted all of them so I could be free to spend time with him and learn more of who he is and what he has for me.

Who knows our heart better than anyone? The One who formed us in the womb. The One who placed our heart and soul divinely into our human body with the hope that we’d discover our great need for him.

So in my inability to surrender all to God he stepped in and began singing to me outside my window through a little bird. During the day he worked to capture my attention through my readings, billboards, and through the words of others in hopes of getting me to be still and quiet long enough to hear of how surrendering is the beginning of learning to trust him in and for all things. I’ll have you know my song bird is no longer waking me up so I must be doing ok for now.

Psalm 84:3

The bird also has found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and My God. How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

 

It’s Just A Bad Day, Not A Bad Life

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

As I walk in the newness of this next chapter of life I am discovering more about me and how important change can be to our growth. Many times as we grow into the plans and purposes of God we will find there are things we must let go of in order to move forward. Some times what it looks like on the outside is not what is going on in the inside.

As a parent my heart’s desire was to get my children through life with as little heartache, loss and rejection so they would experience a life of success and love. That desire and prayer of mine never changed.

In my efforts to do everything right it did not always turn out right. As parents we do our best with what we’ve learned from watching others, books we’ve read and from our parents. But the most important part of being a mother is having a mother’s heart which I believe God places within us. It is in that heart of love we learn more about God, our children and ourselves.

There is a book by Dr. Dobson, “Parenting Isn’t for Cowards” which is a great book on parenting but it was the title that first grabbed me because the truth is in our journey of parenthood there is no guarantee of a happy ending. Challenges in parenting can surface at any age but one thing for sure is once a parent, always a parent. Parenting always will look different through the stages of life our kids grow into, and we must be ready to go the distance in hopes of releasing them into the future God prepared for them, with the ability to be self-supporting and contributors to a better society.

Today there is still pain in my heart as I reflect on days past. The days that turned into months, and months into years before my younger son came home. His years away were spent in more of a daze as his brother and I worked hard to support and encourage him. The vision of how this would all come to an end was much different than where I find this relationship today. During these turbulent years as dysfunctional as it was it was difficult to move forward and to find complete happiness knowing what he was going through.

Before my son went away he was showing signs of distress. In my efforts to help him life became more difficult because he only wanted help from his father. Now this would have been fine had his dad been emotionally available to help him. During a very critical time for my son his father began building a new life and was too busy for him. Because of the ramifications and circumstances surrounding my divorce this added to my concern for my son. My fear for his safety and well-being influenced my desire to fight harder for him. Unfortunately, my son did not want my help nor did he have any desire to have me parent him in any way. This fight for him was perceived as an intent for me to control more of his life and not as an act of a mother’s love and concern for her child.

As most parents experience with teenagers they go through a rebellious stage. His rebellion began before the divorce and worsened after. It was during his first years of high school when he began losing interest in school work and his responsibilities. His ability to focus on things other than sports and girls became less and less important to him. As mother’s we know many times our effort to parent and help our children in a time when things are spiraling out of control can leave us frantic. This is how I felt during that time, frantic as I watched my son become more distant and rebellious. It wasn’t long before my efforts began to look like a controlling mother gone mad. The more I tried to get my son under control and keep him accountable the more he despised me. In his rebellion he began cutting school and getting into trouble with the law.

Fast forward and now we’re in a courtroom where I find myself fighting to keep my son’s father accountable for him by seeing that he finish school and stay out of trouble. My fight in this battle was meant for good, not evil. It was done in love for my son in hopes of seeing him have a productive and healthy future.

My son like many kids of divorced parents wanted to live with his dad. The courts allowed this due to his age and the testimony of my son which stated I was trying to control him and his life by calling the school to see if he attended, did his homework, and by wanting to know if he was safe and staying out of trouble on the weekends. I thought I was doing what any caring loving mother would do who desires only the best for their child. Unfortunately, in our situation my son did not like me very much and considered me a control freak trying to ruin his life. In the midst of having all my parenting rights removed because of his age, and he and his father assuring the court they had everything under control I walked out of court that day an unwanted mother.   For me my marriage was over, but not my responsibility and love for my son.

As the days progressed I began to hear from friends how he was on the road to destruction. The more I tried to help the more twisted the lies of his father became toward me and my intentions towards my son. My hands and heart were tied.

Until Six-months later and 3 days after his 18 birthday he was arrested.

It was early morning as I sat down at my desk and began playing my messages when I was greeted with the voice of my son. His call was informing me he was in County Jail and needed me. As I gasped for air I dialed his dad’s number because believe it or not I had no idea where county jail was located. Yes, I had been married to a police officer and knew where the Police Dept. was but I don’t ever remember having been to County Jail.

Needless to say, I was given the address and hung up on.

Once again, things were about to change and I was going to embark on an even deeper darker road taking me to places I never wanted to go. Surrounding me with people I never thought to have a thought about. And bringing me closer to a God I thought I knew everything I needed to know about in my life time.

Rahab and The Promised Land

In April I spent the day with my cousin’s daughter who attends UCSB hiking at the Gaviota Wild Caves which they call the “Wind Caves”. It was a perfect sunny day with a slight breeze coming up from the Pacific Ocean. After picking out some munchies at the local store we headed over to the hiking trails. When we arrived we looked up toward the mountain that hosted our destination and this is what we saw.

The hike to the top was not an easy one with the heat of the day as I followed behind Tayler. You see Tayler is 19 years old and full of life. Let’s just say she would have made it to the top much faster without me. However, I think I did pretty good keeping up with her. (smile)

Our view from the top of the Wind Caves

As we looked up toward the mountain I was reminded of Rahab and the walls of Jericho. I envisioned seeing Jericho built up against these mountains and the amount of work it had to take to build the city. It takes work to build anything of value and if for some reason it falls apart it can be devastating. Whether it is a career, a home, family, business, or anything else we put our energy, love and resources into. If it crumbles or we don’t succeed it can leave us feeling as if life is over, now what? I believe if it were not for the stories Rahab heard throughout the years, and her new hope and faith in God she may have sat down in her ruins and died there. And yet, what happened is her faith and hope actually propelled her into the purpose and plan God had for her life.

One life lesson I take away from Rahab’s story is her past no longer dictated her future. It was the ruins of her past that brought her to a place where she longed to be free. And God in his grace and mercy took Rahab to the place where she found herself having to make the decision of whether to remain in the ruins of regret or put her trust and faith in God. We learn of how Rahab said YES to the opportunity knocking at her heart and front door which saved her and her family bringing them out of dark circumstances and into a new life with God. With each step she took she became closer to God, to his people and to her purpose in life.

So, what happened to Rahab after the fall of Jericho? It’s important for us to know Rahab continued on in her journey with the Israelites toward the Promised Land believing God for a better future and she got one! She learned the ways of God and His people, and became a woman of virtue. Little did she know the great plan of God when she became the wife of a prominent Israelite, Salmon of the tribe of Judah, and the mother of Boaz. In the book of Ruth you will find the story of Boaz and how he married Ruth, and they had a son, Obed. Their son Obed became the father of Jesse which was the father of King David.

Rahab’s life was valuable in many ways but would she have ever guessed one day she would be a mother in the line of the Messiah. I think not. Maybe her past would have left her hiding in the background of the Israelites feeling shame, or as a servant held in captivity. But God’s plan was different from any Rahab could have imagined. He took the shame from her past and wiped the slate clean when she put her trust and faith in him. The old was gone and she was onto something new.

Through Rahab’s story we learn the importance of accepting the freedom that comes with God’s forgiveness. Our past is just that, our past. All of us are faced with choices every day and in order for us to move up and into a better place more suited for our purpose we’re not to spend time wallowing in the things of the past. God’s desire is for us to learn from them, good and bad. We are to take the good and build on it and take the bad and learn from it.

When God calls you into a new place trust He has something bigger and better he wants to do in you and through you. His bigger and better for Rahab was that she would know and experience a pure and unconditional love with God, and in that new life he blessed her as a wife and mother.

Today do you find life crumbling around you from mistakes pulling you back into the past and prohibiting you from moving into the purposes and plans of God for your life? If so, I ask you to stop where you are and surrender those ruins because the same God who saved Rahab wants to save you.  If you trust in him by faith he will walk you into your Promised Land. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope” Romans 15:4