Love Is the Greatest

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or clanging cymbal…

Love is patient and kind,

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…

Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-

and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13

God bless you and your day.

 

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It’s Just A Taco

 

It’s just a taco I thought after the guy I was dating turned his head and blurted out, “Must you always be so accommodating!”  He really wasn’t asking a question.  It was more out of frustration he spoke those words.

Guess what, its months later and I’m still thinking about his comment and if asked today, my response would still be the same.  “It’s just a taco.”

You see, I’ve learned over the years to pick and choose my battles, and how to use my words.  Although I don’t always use them correctly or in the right tone I am aware more than ever how important our words are and how damaging they can be when they are not spoken with love and respect.

That evening we decided to share an appetizer at Tommy Bahama’s and we agreed upon Ahi tacos!  When they arrived he discovered they were not what he thought they were and did not want them.  I suggested we send them back and get something we both liked and that is when he responded with “Must you always be so accommodating!”  I gently told him yes, it’s just a taco.  He then proceeded to tell me how all day long he gets his way. (It’s because he is a business owner and not because he was dating me)

Clearly by now my head was filling with all kinds of things I wanted to blurt out but I did not because life is short and why would we want to not make others happy!

Although we’re no longer dating the question still echoes through my mind. You see, it’s my desire to have a mutual loving relationship and not one that is demanding of its own way. I’ve noticed the older we become the more set in our ways we become and less flexible. I don’t want to be one of those women that demands her own way!  However, it’s important to not lose oneself in our relationships.  We need to stay true to who we are and how God made us. I can say one thing for sure and that is when it comes to decision making I don’t have a problem.  More times than not I trust my judgement and when there are things I believe strongly in I will not be so accommodating.

I share this experience because it’s something I don’t want to change about myself, and one I hope the next guy will appreciate about me.  As I reflect on past relationships I want to take note of things I’ve sacrificed and may have lost as much as what I’ve learned.  Being accommodating, flexible, and giving is part of who I am and I don’t want to lose those qualities because it’s taken years of growth and hard knocks to learn how to be less selfish and stubborn.

I’ve learned relationships are about give and take.  You can’t go wrong when you can be self-sacrificing. Life and tacos can’t always be about us!  We’re no longer 2 years old and in need of what we consider “MINE” or “I WANT”.  It’s time to learn how to share and make ourselves more accommodating to those around us for the sake of love and learning.  Not to mention, peace.

My recent trip to Sedona affirmed my desire for more of God and how he created me. By having time to be by myself I discovered how freeing it is to just be “me”.  No agenda. No trying to impress someone. I could just be me!

When I returned I was more convinced than ever to continue on the path of being the best I can be in all of my relationships. I believe it will be more rewarding when we just do us and not pretend to be who others say we should be.

Our character and qualities of life are not to be taken lightly but to be shared for the good of others.  When we do this we can almost always guarantee a good and happy ending.

Most People Don’t Know What They Want…

This morning I woke up to a different tune as the birds song came drifting through the screen of my patio door.  Listening intently it struck me that it wasn’t as sweet sounding as it was the day before. In fact, it sounded more like complaining.

I imagined the birds feeling a little like this…”Great, another hot day and my nest happens to be in the direct sunlight! Oh, right!  It’s Thursday which means that ugly old guy is going to come by and blow on my house with that long stick of his and mess things up! Dust everywhere, leaves everywhere and noise! There will be no rest for me!  Must I listen to my little guys chirping all day wanting more food and all of my attention?  Oh, I wonder if my birdies daddy plans on bringing dinner home or if I am going to have to go out and get it myself…and the crows!  Must I have them swooping down on my nest all day attempting to snatch up my little guys destroying all I’ve so proudly toiled over for my family.  All the rodents out there and they want what I have, can’t they go somewhere else for breakfast!   Looks like another day of protecting my young and dodging the attacks of the enemy.  Oh…look over there across the treetops, the grass appears to be greener on the other side…I wonder if I’d be happier over there…”

It reminded me of a commercial (see the link below) and how we tend to think what others have might bring us more happiness in life.  Thoughts of having it all or having more can distract us and take us to a place where we no longer consider the risk of being disrespectful or losing what we love.  Hard fact but we’re faced with the decision to be content with what God has provided to us every day as we look across our tree tops.

Even Abraham and Lot faced this dilemma as they looked across the land of the Jordan Valley.  (Genesis 13:1-18)  What looked like having it all to Lot and his need for more ended up being his downfall and brought Lot and his family so much loss and sorrow.  If only they would have been content with what God had provided them at that moment and time.  May we be mindful of how Greener…Bigger…are not always better.

Most People Don’t Know What They Want…But it is something different from what they have.

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/AqYe/time-warner-cable-greener

 

Only a Journal Away!

A story is only a journal away.

Well it’s time! I’ve been praying and contemplating on how to get going with the completion of my writing project. You see there have been days it’s been painful and I’ve had to stop. But through it all God has brought healing and encouragement. Today I’m looking at the progress, growth and answered prayers with a thankful heart for the many trials God has brought me through.  I am especially grateful for the tenderness he has uncovered through His mighty Spirit which He has placed so carefully within the walls of my heart.

These are just a few of my journals which boldly remind me of all God has done,  is doing and what is yet to come! I pray the pages can form a story that empowers, encourages and reveals more of God’s love and faithfulness for those who belong to him.  Let us never give up hope because with God all things are possible! Mark 10:27

The best is yet to come…

 

Piece by Piece – Father’s Matter

As mentioned in previous Blogs I was a young girl when my mom moved me to California. To this day I am thankful she found a good man to help raise me and that I could call daddy. As children we can conjure up all kinds of “ideas” and “reason” as to why our families are no longer living together, happy and loving one another. Truth may be we are no longer capable of living together but we can still “parent” together.  And most importantly, we can still love our children together even though we’re apart.

Yes, some parents leave.  Sometimes never to return. By “abandoning” they leave deep wounds.

And many parents stay.  They work hard to give their children what they need to grow and become their best self.  They give them family, love and a place to belong. God bless these parents, and I know He will.

My oldest son and his wife have a blended family.  Both families work well together and parent with love. I am proud of them for the work they’ve done and happy to say my granddaughter is thriving.  I’ve watched her grow into a confident, talented and happy young lady. I am not saying they don’t have challenges.  There are challenges in every home. But the difference they’ve made is all parents are working together to create a loving home for their child!

Not all families have a happy ending. In fact, the family I worked hard to create did not have a happy ending. There were years of challenges with heartache. My divorce ended ugly and my ex refused to cooperate with me for the good of our youngest son. It was a heart  wrenching journey from fear to faith as I worked through the consequences of divorce.

My hope is for us to leave our children free to love and be loved by their parents.  And if one parent walks away from their responsibility then the remaining parent will work to assure their child knows it is not any fault of theirs. Today I share this song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece and as we go from fear to faith we help our children to the other side. (Matthew 7:12)

Matters of The Heart

 

 

What has taken up residence in your heart?

So many things fill our heart leaving parts of us unrecognizable as we navigate life.  Scripture tells us in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  Basically, our heart drives us whether it be good, bad or indifferent.

At times there can be a myriad of emotion from love to hate and everything in between.  All of which impact who we are and how we love.

As I’ve spent time reflecting on my early childhood I discovered one of my heart matters to be about “trust”.   At the age of 4 years old I was driving with my mom and soon to be new dad to sign adoption papers.  I was in the backseat of the car when my mom turned around to tell me something very important.  At 4 years old I knew it was important because we were all dressed up and I felt anxious.  Not sure if I was picking up on my mom’s anxiousness or if my heart knew something was about to change.

It was through my blue eyes I saw my mom’s brown eyes and big brown hair (Bee hive dew) as she leaned over the seat and said, “Now we’re going to go talk to a nice man and he is going to ask if you want him to be your daddy, as she looked across the seat toward the man I would soon know as my daddy. Now remember to say yes when he asks if you want him to be your daddy, and when we’re done we will go get an ice cream.”  Point being I was a little girl who loved ice cream and so I eagerly agreed.

We drove the rest of the way in what felt like silence.

Growing up I knew very little about my biological father outside of a few things I had heard from others.  All of which were not good.  This made me come up with a few reasons of my own for him not being around.  These too were not good.

It’s with a grateful heart I can say, the decision my mom made to marry her new man and make him my dad was a good one.  He has always been a man of integrity, and takes his commitments seriously.  What I am most thankful for is he never left and he always made us feel loved.

Unfortunately, the rejection experienced during this time left scars that would eventually cause trouble for me in future relationships with men.  Interestingly enough it was after my 21 year marriage came to an end when I began to experience these effects of betrayal.  During my time of loss and sorrow I would lay awake at night thinking about what could have been or should have been.  It was after a short time of this I realized I needed to move on and let go of what should or could have been. After all, the last thing I wanted was a hardened heart.  Before long one of my daily prayers was for God to help me so I would not become an angry bitter woman afraid to love.  It was in this determination I had the strength to move forward.  I began to trust God in a new way.  There were times it wasn’t easy navigating the broken pieces of my heart but I was fearful of what could become of me.  I pictured myself driving down the street with a scowl on my face, laying on the horn for no apparent reason outside of the fact that I was just plain angry at life. And I reminded myself of how this would not be pretty!

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I never had pity parties! As ugly as they are I’ve thrown a few that have left me hung over from life.  But thank the good Lord for the remedy of friends!  Because in the midst of my heart matters I’ve had the love of family and good friends help rescue me.  It has been their support and unconditional love that helped pry open my eyes to the many promises of God. How we need God, family and friends!  I can see clearly how God used them to help resuscitate and push me through to the other side. I pray you let him do it for you too!

May these Scriptures bring encouragement and healing to your heart matters as you learn to trust God for more.

Q: Is there a heart matter you need let go so you can push through to the other side?

Today’s Scripture:

1 Corinthians 16:13 “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong”

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Psalm 138:3 “In the day I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.”

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

 

 

Love Is…

So many different meanings and expressions of sharing love…what is yours?

In Honor of Valentine’s Day

In life we can find ourselves in a hurry to experience everything we feel inspired to be and do. The urgency comes from not knowing how much time we have on this earth and not wanting to miss out on what the world tells us we must have and experience.  For each one of us this can mean a multitude of things but this we can be sure of, we all desire to love and be loved.

For years I have envisioned myself traveling to Italy however, when my friend and her husband returned from their Italy vacation and she shared their wonderful experience I made the decision to wait and share this trip with someone I loved!  Too much beauty and romance to experience it alone or with a BFF! Not that I don’t love my BFF’s!

I quickly began to consider other options for vacation when one day while sitting in church they announced an Israel tour!  Immediately I knew this was my trip for 2015! In no time at all I had my heart and luggage filled up with everything needed to embark on this journey and BAM I was on a plane headed for Tel Aviv.

I heard from many how this trip would make the Bible come alive but what I didn’t realize was how it would resonate in my heart the great love and compassion God has for us.  The divine ways he works on our behalf to show loving kindness and provide understanding into His meaning of love.

I recently learned of a Rolling Stone magazine article on the two most frequently used words in music and the first is love with the second being baby (not defined as an infant).  To my surprise Google’s two most searched words are God and sex. Now if this doesn’t confirm how people everywhere are looking for love then help me understand why so many are searching the web for it!  After hearing of these statistics I felt an even greater urgency to share more about God’s love and the importance of not confusing the experience of sex with experiencing love. Yes, sex is a beautiful way of expressing love for another but it in no way defines the deep meaning of sacrificial love. God is love and he created sex so we know they’re both good and they’re both needed to keep our world and lives functioning as he planned.

In a few days we will celebrate the infamous Valentine’s in our own unique way with someone special.

And, in all of this “love” talk I am reminded of how the greatest love of all cannot be bought nor can we work for it because it is free!  It’s a sacrificial love that leaves us guilt free, shame free, joyful, and at our best. And most importantly God has made it available to us every day of every year!

Truth be told, I have some of my own love stories as well as those others have shared with me.  It’s through these stories and my life experiences I have seen the reflection of God’s love. In spite of everything the world say’s love is, there is one love we can always depend on and will never change, and that is God’s love.

No matter what your heart longs for this Valentine’s Day it’s my prayer that the miracle of His love will show up and sweep you off your feet.

Love is: 1 John 4:8; 1 Corinthians 13 4&5; John 3:16

Life & Love Require Action

The past few months have been a whirlwind of events, holidays and a life changing trip to Israel.  In the midst of all the joy and celebration life has availed me I often find myself having to make hard decisions. Such is life!  However, I’ve discovered the best part of life is LOVE.

Anyway you want to look at it, we were created to love and be loved. Unfortunately, love doesn’t always mean sunshine and roses!

There have been deep insights uncovered revealing my heart and soul as I’ve learned to let go and let love in.  What I’ve discovered is there have been times I’ve loved well, and others, not so well.

As I continue on in life I desire to keep learning and growing in this area so I can give to others what God has so graciously given to me, and that being the unconditional gift of love that was meant to set us free.  It’s a love that sometimes feels uncomfortable and other times, too comfortable. It’s a love providing strength and courage while allowing self reflection in hopes of enhancing one’s experience with love.  It’s a love exuding forgiveness.

I’ve found one perfect example of this love in the story of John 3:16 and the more I study and stumble in and out of love in this not so merciful and gracious world I discover what matters most is how I reflect that love.  No matter where I am, be it in a relationship, the store, the gas station, work, home or with a friend how I love is important.  How we love is important. It’s vital to our very soul and the soul of others.

So, I share today a bit of wisdom from a recommended book by a friend, The Seven levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly.

“But in order to love you must be free, for to love is to give yourself to someone or something freely, completely,  unconditionally,  and without reservation. It is as if you could take the very essence of your very self in your hands and give it to another person. Yet to give yourself to another person,  to an endeavor, or to God you must first possess your self. This possession of self is freedom.  It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline…The problem is we don’t want discipline. We want someone else to tell us we can be happy without discipline.”

I highly recommend this book to those in every stage of a relationship as it touches on all levels as well as the dynamics surrounding those levels as you make your way into a deeper and lasting freedom with God and others.

Let me leave you with this thought from page 63:

“With your self in hand,  you can choose to freely and completely give yourself to another person in the mystery of love.”

Thursday Night’s NightCap!

I hope this week has been good to you!

I can hardly believe we’re in the last week of October and before we know it we will be celebrating a New Year! Seriously as I glance over my calendar I ask myself, ‘where has the time gone?’ I am awe struck as to how quickly times is passing and how much there is still to do! What about those dreams, goals and desires we all long to see manifested in our lives. This calls for focus and the ability to push through over to the other side so not to miss out on all God has for us!

With that said, I want to remind you there is life after divorce! There is hope and a purpose for things yet to come for you and your children. Just because one part of life has ended doesn’t mean there won’t be a new life ahead to be embraced and celebrated. We cannot and must not allow the disappointments and sorrows of yesterday rule our tomorrows.

Now, I realize after my divorce 14 years ago there were times I became overwhelmed and I found it difficult to stay positive as I chipped away at rebuilding my new life. Some days were good and others, not so good. Not to mention how difficult it can become when divorce becomes a battle between the two sexes. However, there is beauty to be found when we’re stuck and in not so comfortable predicaments! No really! In these battles we may find ourselves outside of our comfort zone with only one place to turn. We may find we need to look deep within our soul in hopes of finding purpose in our pain as we look at the truth of who we’ve become. Good, bad or indifferent. We must look at those not so friendly places of our being and rediscover parts of ourselves that have been buried, and are no longer recognizable. It may be time to resurrect the buried character we’ve lost through the trials with new-found strength and love. It’s imperative we rekindle a love within so we can easily break free from the bondage which held us hostage in our past. Those broken areas that have left us stifled and unable to live a life the way God intended for us.

Are there pieces of your heart still needing to be set free in order for you to walk into your new place of truth. The place of truth where one can be authentic while creating a new life for themselves and those they love. No more façade.

Does that sound refreshing and freeing to you? Well this is what God want’s for us! Believe it or not, he does not want us bound to a past that has tripped us up, wounded us and left us with battle scars. He came to free us from those ugly parts of life that left us fearful and unable to live whole and free. His desire for us has always been that we live life authentically where we no longer have to work to experience freedom but put our trust acceptance in Him and his truth. How great to know there is One who loves us unconditionally. The One who accepts us just as we are and where there is no condemnation. A God who delivers us into a new freedom where we’re loosed to enjoy all of his creation.

Tonight I hope to leave you with a verse that encompasses these thoughts with the hope that you too can find your place of freedom.

“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.”

Today step into your freedom leaving the pain from the past behind you. Allow yourself to find happiness again.  Get excited about life and all it has to offer you!  May the children touched by divorce see transformation in the lives of their parents so they too can be set free. May resentment, bitterness and regret be a thing of the past so new life can spring into action leaving you breathless because of joy and not strife!

Cheers!