Love Is the Greatest

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or clanging cymbal…

Love is patient and kind,

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance…

Three things will last forever-faith, hope, and love-

and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13

God bless you and your day.

 

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Most People Don’t Know What They Want…

This morning I woke up to a different tune as the birds song came drifting through the screen of my patio door.  Listening intently it struck me that it wasn’t as sweet sounding as it was the day before. In fact, it sounded more like complaining.

I imagined the birds feeling a little like this…”Great, another hot day and my nest happens to be in the direct sunlight! Oh, right!  It’s Thursday which means that ugly old guy is going to come by and blow on my house with that long stick of his and mess things up! Dust everywhere, leaves everywhere and noise! There will be no rest for me!  Must I listen to my little guys chirping all day wanting more food and all of my attention?  Oh, I wonder if my birdies daddy plans on bringing dinner home or if I am going to have to go out and get it myself…and the crows!  Must I have them swooping down on my nest all day attempting to snatch up my little guys destroying all I’ve so proudly toiled over for my family.  All the rodents out there and they want what I have, can’t they go somewhere else for breakfast!   Looks like another day of protecting my young and dodging the attacks of the enemy.  Oh…look over there across the treetops, the grass appears to be greener on the other side…I wonder if I’d be happier over there…”

It reminded me of a commercial (see the link below) and how we tend to think what others have might bring us more happiness in life.  Thoughts of having it all or having more can distract us and take us to a place where we no longer consider the risk of being disrespectful or losing what we love.  Hard fact but we’re faced with the decision to be content with what God has provided to us every day as we look across our tree tops.

Even Abraham and Lot faced this dilemma as they looked across the land of the Jordan Valley.  (Genesis 13:1-18)  What looked like having it all to Lot and his need for more ended up being his downfall and brought Lot and his family so much loss and sorrow.  If only they would have been content with what God had provided them at that moment and time.  May we be mindful of how Greener…Bigger…are not always better.

Most People Don’t Know What They Want…But it is something different from what they have.

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/AqYe/time-warner-cable-greener

 

Only a Journal Away!

A story is only a journal away.

Well it’s time! I’ve been praying and contemplating on how to get going with the completion of my writing project. You see there have been days it’s been painful and I’ve had to stop. But through it all God has brought healing and encouragement. Today I’m looking at the progress, growth and answered prayers with a thankful heart for the many trials God has brought me through.  I am especially grateful for the tenderness he has uncovered through His mighty Spirit which He has placed so carefully within the walls of my heart.

These are just a few of my journals which boldly remind me of all God has done,  is doing and what is yet to come! I pray the pages can form a story that empowers, encourages and reveals more of God’s love and faithfulness for those who belong to him.  Let us never give up hope because with God all things are possible! Mark 10:27

The best is yet to come…

 

Piece by Piece – Father’s Matter

As mentioned in previous Blogs I was a young girl when my mom moved me to California. To this day I am thankful she found a good man to help raise me and that I could call daddy. As children we can conjure up all kinds of “ideas” and “reason” as to why our families are no longer living together, happy and loving one another. Truth may be we are no longer capable of living together but we can still “parent” together.  And most importantly, we can still love our children together even though we’re apart.

Yes, some parents leave.  Sometimes never to return. By “abandoning” they leave deep wounds.

And many parents stay.  They work hard to give their children what they need to grow and become their best self.  They give them family, love and a place to belong. God bless these parents, and I know He will.

My oldest son and his wife have a blended family.  Both families work well together and parent with love. I am proud of them for the work they’ve done and happy to say my granddaughter is thriving.  I’ve watched her grow into a confident, talented and happy young lady. I am not saying they don’t have challenges.  There are challenges in every home. But the difference they’ve made is all parents are working together to create a loving home for their child!

Not all families have a happy ending. In fact, the family I worked hard to create did not have a happy ending. There were years of challenges with heartache. My divorce ended ugly and my ex refused to cooperate with me for the good of our youngest son. It was a heart  wrenching journey from fear to faith as I worked through the consequences of divorce.

My hope is for us to leave our children free to love and be loved by their parents.  And if one parent walks away from their responsibility then the remaining parent will work to assure their child knows it is not any fault of theirs. Today I share this song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece and as we go from fear to faith we help our children to the other side. (Matthew 7:12)

Matters of The Heart

 

 

What has taken up residence in your heart?

So many things fill our heart leaving parts of us unrecognizable as we navigate life.  Scripture tells us in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  Basically, our heart drives us whether it be good, bad or indifferent.

At times there can be a myriad of emotion from love to hate and everything in between.  All of which impact who we are and how we love.

As I’ve spent time reflecting on my early childhood I discovered one of my heart matters to be about “trust”.   At the age of 4 years old I was driving with my mom and soon to be new dad to sign adoption papers.  I was in the backseat of the car when my mom turned around to tell me something very important.  At 4 years old I knew it was important because we were all dressed up and I felt anxious.  Not sure if I was picking up on my mom’s anxiousness or if my heart knew something was about to change.

It was through my blue eyes I saw my mom’s brown eyes and big brown hair (Bee hive dew) as she leaned over the seat and said, “Now we’re going to go talk to a nice man and he is going to ask if you want him to be your daddy, as she looked across the seat toward the man I would soon know as my daddy. Now remember to say yes when he asks if you want him to be your daddy, and when we’re done we will go get an ice cream.”  Point being I was a little girl who loved ice cream and so I eagerly agreed.

We drove the rest of the way in what felt like silence.

Growing up I knew very little about my biological father outside of a few things I had heard from others.  All of which were not good.  This made me come up with a few reasons of my own for him not being around.  These too were not good.

It’s with a grateful heart I can say, the decision my mom made to marry her new man and make him my dad was a good one.  He has always been a man of integrity, and takes his commitments seriously.  What I am most thankful for is he never left and he always made us feel loved.

Unfortunately, the rejection experienced during this time left scars that would eventually cause trouble for me in future relationships with men.  Interestingly enough it was after my 21 year marriage came to an end when I began to experience these effects of betrayal.  During my time of loss and sorrow I would lay awake at night thinking about what could have been or should have been.  It was after a short time of this I realized I needed to move on and let go of what should or could have been. After all, the last thing I wanted was a hardened heart.  Before long one of my daily prayers was for God to help me so I would not become an angry bitter woman afraid to love.  It was in this determination I had the strength to move forward.  I began to trust God in a new way.  There were times it wasn’t easy navigating the broken pieces of my heart but I was fearful of what could become of me.  I pictured myself driving down the street with a scowl on my face, laying on the horn for no apparent reason outside of the fact that I was just plain angry at life. And I reminded myself of how this would not be pretty!

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I never had pity parties! As ugly as they are I’ve thrown a few that have left me hung over from life.  But thank the good Lord for the remedy of friends!  Because in the midst of my heart matters I’ve had the love of family and good friends help rescue me.  It has been their support and unconditional love that helped pry open my eyes to the many promises of God. How we need God, family and friends!  I can see clearly how God used them to help resuscitate and push me through to the other side. I pray you let him do it for you too!

May these Scriptures bring encouragement and healing to your heart matters as you learn to trust God for more.

Q: Is there a heart matter you need let go so you can push through to the other side?

Today’s Scripture:

1 Corinthians 16:13 “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong”

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Psalm 138:3 “In the day I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.”

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

 

 

Life & Love Require Action

The past few months have been a whirlwind of events, holidays and a life changing trip to Israel.  In the midst of all the joy and celebration life has availed me I often find myself having to make hard decisions. Such is life!  However, I’ve discovered the best part of life is LOVE.

Anyway you want to look at it, we were created to love and be loved. Unfortunately, love doesn’t always mean sunshine and roses!

There have been deep insights uncovered revealing my heart and soul as I’ve learned to let go and let love in.  What I’ve discovered is there have been times I’ve loved well, and others, not so well.

As I continue on in life I desire to keep learning and growing in this area so I can give to others what God has so graciously given to me, and that being the unconditional gift of love that was meant to set us free.  It’s a love that sometimes feels uncomfortable and other times, too comfortable. It’s a love providing strength and courage while allowing self reflection in hopes of enhancing one’s experience with love.  It’s a love exuding forgiveness.

I’ve found one perfect example of this love in the story of John 3:16 and the more I study and stumble in and out of love in this not so merciful and gracious world I discover what matters most is how I reflect that love.  No matter where I am, be it in a relationship, the store, the gas station, work, home or with a friend how I love is important.  How we love is important. It’s vital to our very soul and the soul of others.

So, I share today a bit of wisdom from a recommended book by a friend, The Seven levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly.

“But in order to love you must be free, for to love is to give yourself to someone or something freely, completely,  unconditionally,  and without reservation. It is as if you could take the very essence of your very self in your hands and give it to another person. Yet to give yourself to another person,  to an endeavor, or to God you must first possess your self. This possession of self is freedom.  It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline…The problem is we don’t want discipline. We want someone else to tell us we can be happy without discipline.”

I highly recommend this book to those in every stage of a relationship as it touches on all levels as well as the dynamics surrounding those levels as you make your way into a deeper and lasting freedom with God and others.

Let me leave you with this thought from page 63:

“With your self in hand,  you can choose to freely and completely give yourself to another person in the mystery of love.”

Thursday Night NightCap

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”

Proverbs 13:12

I remember the first time I read this Scripture in Proverbs, as well as the many times that followed. I must say, my heart is touched every time I turn to it.  What a profound piece of Scripture!

I’m also confident we’ve all had seasons in life where we’ve longed deeply for something and the reality of it ever happening is delayed. Perhaps we never do see our longing or prayer answered.  As much effort as we put into trying to make the dream come true for us, we find ourselves empty.  What I mean by ‘empty’ is the longing has left us with an ache in our heart in the absence of a dream fulfilled.  We find ourselves agonizing over the loss of what could have been and should have been.  Perhaps it’s the loss of what we believed was meant to be, but just never materialized for us.

We find ourselves struggling to stay the course as we wait, trying to remain hopeful.  Then quickly hope turns into disappointment.  We may struggle in our heart and mine to determine the reason behind the delay. We find ourselves asking, ‘Where is God?’  Days turn into nights and we find we cannot concentrate on much else because the longing has consumed our every thought.  Still we push through as our hope diminishes.  This is when we may become so discouraged we find ourselves heartsick over the longing and waiting.

Can anyone relate?

There are things I’ve longed and waited for that to this day have not come to fruition.  I’ve had to learn how to surrender my will for His and accept the timing and seasons of God.  I’ve reasoned within as to why things happened the way they did and not the way I’d hoped for.

My confession is this; God has used the disappointments and the delayed answers to prayer to teach me more about Himself.  He has strengthened my faith, and showed me His will for my life.  This has caused me to take my eyes off of myself and to look more deeply into the ways of God.  Many times it has brought me to my knees in despair as I’ve ached for the longing to pass so I might feel good again.  Through the season of waiting God used this time to enhance my spiritual understanding of how He is the Lord of my life, and I am not.

I want to go back to ‘heartsick.’ Loss and disappointment, delayed answers to prayer and longing can cause our heart to literally feel sick from brokenness and disappointment.  This can bring on depression, doubt in God, and make us question if we are worthy of answered prayer!  Whether our longing is for a career, a marriage, a baby, a home or even a puppy!  That longing is real to us and it consumes our thoughts and takes up residence in our hearts as we wait with great expectation for it.  As much as we try to keep ourselves preoccupied, it’s still there.  The enemy taunts us with words that echo in our mind about how life will never be good without it.  The ache in our hearts stubbornly reminds us of what we don’t have, the very thing everyone else seems to have.  That dream that we are missing that would make our life complete.  Bottom line, the whole process can really do a number on us!

But then God shows up and sometimes it’s in the answer we’ve longed for, and other times it’s to gently move us toward something better.  We may not see the ‘better’ in it, but that is when we must stay strong, push through, and trust God.  What I’ve learned about God is that when He answers our longings or moves them into a new direction, we can be sure it will be in a majestic and miraculous way.

I share this as I too was becoming heartsick before my move to So Cal.  Nothing was working for me back home in the Bay Area.  My relationship with my younger son was falling apart after years of working hard to help, support and show my love for him and his daughter.  In his eyes it still ended up not being enough. In God’s eyes, perhaps I had done too much.  It was back in 2009 that I began to look into relocating and submitting job applications.  After a few years of doing this without anything happening, I grew weary and discouraged. I put this longing aside with a restless, disappointed heart.  It was 2014 when God showed up with the answer to this forgotten prayer.  It happened like nothing I envisioned.  It left me without a doubt that it was about God’s will and His timing, not mine. It happened in a way I could never have dreamed up!  He put all logistics into place and He had me moved within a five week time span, after five years of delay!

I share this with hope of encouraging those of you who have hearts desires that have not yet materialized. Those relentless hopes and dreams that captivated your heart, only to leave you heartsick because tomorrow has come, but the longing remains unfulfilled.

It’s my desire to encourage and strengthen you with this verse in Proverbs that was put there for such a time as this!  These words are written to remind us of the life that comes to us through a faith that perseveres when it’s difficult and we see no light at the end of the tunnel.  We must not forget God understands.  We must be mindful of how God is with us as we walk that pebbled road and wait for the light to illuminate our way again.  We must stay strong and move forward as we wait for the timing of God to break through our heartsick condition.  If it’s not the timing we envisioned or the way we wanted things to go, God see’s us and has our best interests at heart. He will still show up.  Many testify that He always shows up with something better!

Thursday Night’s NightCap

 

All I can say is, “Wow! How quickly time flies when you’re having fun!” So much to share, but I hesitate to give it all to you in one sitting! Sip slow!

I must confess I’ve had one of the best dating weeks I’ve had in a very long time! I know what you must be thinking…Oh boy, it’s only been a week!

Yes, just a week, but in all seriousness I’ve been waiting a bit for this guy to ask me out. During the waiting period it has been rough because I know what I want and if someone isn’t ready, or they’re not interested, there’s not much one can do. It’s like I mentioned last week, don’t force the glass slipper! Over this waiting period, I’ve prayed about it. Not much changed outside of seeing him at our Tuesday night Life Group. Then summer break came along. That’s when I began to look at other opportunities and eventually put myself on the infamous dating site! Which we know was not going very well. And then…

Before I knew it, we were at dinner and it was comfortable as the two of us shared what matters the most to us when it comes to dating. I’ve always believed communication is key to learning about one another when making a decision to move forward. You might not think this is too big of a deal but trust me, at my age, it is a VERY big deal. I don’t want to waste time on a man that isn’t going in a similar direction and doesn’t share the same faith. This may reduce my chances of meeting a great guy down to about 5%, but I’m more than willing to take those chances. I can say this because I am not looking to waste my time or anyone else’s. Why would I do that at my age, or why should any of us do that any age? Actually, I’ve made that dating mistake in the past and that may just be one of the reasons I find myself still single.

Now I found myself having this conversation with the only guy who truly caught my attention after moving to So Cal, and it felt good. I felt encouraged. After all, it was those two months on a dating site that left me second guessing myself and the men out there.

As I drove home the other day, with the sunlight glistening over the ocean, it dawned on me that if I had given up and stopped praying for a good man, I may have missed out on last week. Had I thrown the baby out with the bathwater, I may have given up an opportunity for God to answer in His way, and in His time. Not to mention, I would have missed out on a few fun days with a really good guy.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not alluding to anything more than what it is right now. Putting it simply, I met a man about a year ago that caught my attention. We’ve now decided to spend some good time together and have fun. If something more comes of it, great! If not, then I will be that much closer to finding the right one and being ready to take the risks that come when one opens up their heart and allows another to see inside.

Does is feel a bit scary, yes. Will I be careful? Yes. Am I excited to see what may become of this new relationship outside of Life Group? Yes, and I hope he is too. One thing you can be sure of is there will be continued prayer with an open mind and heart as we move into the days ahead.

Question of the night, how many frogs did you kiss before you met your prince?

Time Alone with God

Do you have a place where you go to get away from the pressure, stress, and chaos of life? A special place where you can sit quietly without interruption, allowing yourself to unwind and be alone with God?  Can you sense an emotional siren pulsating through your body, alerting you to your need for a time out?

If this is you, don’t ignore the warning signs and your need to be alone with God as it can be hazardous to your health!  Our spiritual being was created for communion with our Creator. The hunger of our soul is to be quenched by God who supplies every need. He provides our strength and hope as we push through this life.

It’s hard to admit that there were fourteen years, (yes fourteen!)  where I spent too much time attempting to overcome all life had thrown at me in my own strength. It may sound pathetic and a little victimized, but I found myself wrestling to get through loss, pain, disappointment, and fear so I could finally say, “I made it, we made it!”  I desperately wanted to be done with all of the stress I had put myself under to try and save my family. I wanted everyone fixed so we could all start living life how I had always envisioned it. I had convinced myself it was my fierce determination and hope for a better tomorrow that got me through each day. However, that was not it at all!  My hope for better tomorrows and prayers for all that concerned me were right on, but my inability to release control and live life according to God’s way had become infectious to mind, body and spirit. My need to “fix” everybody and everything was hindering me from doing life God’s way, and it was His grace that brought me through and into each new day.

Somehow I believed my dreams would be the same dreams my family shared. Over the years the aspirations and expectations I envisioned for us had morphed into the goal behind every need to repair, save, cover up, and control.  Take that mentality and mix it with additional chaos, stress, and people behaving badly and I found myself in not such a good place.

(Divorce, troubled teen, son leaving for college, loss of a loved one to cancer, moving to a new home, and starting a new job)  All high on the stress bar! 

It was in my reflection time God was able to show me how I had allowed the behaviors of others to rob me from trusting Him in all things and for all things. I had surrendered to pressure and not God.

As pressure builds we can find ourselves breaking down, and if we don’t allow ourselves time to get away to reflect and pray we may find ourselves reacting instead of responding in wisdom, peace, gentleness and a spirit of truth and love. I came to realize it was under this pressure I was losing my way.

Many times throughout the New Testament you will find Jesus leaving everyone and everything to get away alone to pray. He has left us with the perfect example of what to do when life becomes overwhelming and we need a break!  Even if we’re praying throughout our day there are times when we will need to remove ourselves from all people and things so we can focus and listen to the still small voice inside warning, encouraging and instilling wisdom for the moment and days ahead.  It is imperative to take ourselves to a place where we can connect with God and listen without interruption.

Because God is a faithful and loving God, He graciously brought me to the place where I could see the light and love of His ways. He brought me to the end of myself where I was surrendered enough to move deeper into his purposes and plans for my life. His plan was and is to save us all but we need to make the choice to let Him. In my choice to surrender the family I held so dear to my heart God gently showed me how to leave all that concerns me, all that I love and cherish at His feet for His purposes. After all, God has not made me the savior of my family.  He already provided a Savior for us long ago!

We will find when taking time to be alone with God, we find freedom. The troubles invading our hearts, homes, families, careers, friendships, and every important part of our life become smaller and less frightening, and God becomes bigger.  His power and grace will take over as we relinquish control and surrender.

Today if you find yourself struggling I pray the Scripture below will help comfort you as you make your way to the other side:

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

“But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” Luke 5:16

“In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there.”  Mark 1:35

“After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.”  Matthew 14:23

“Today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” Hebrews 4:7b

Surrender

Singing Away

In the beginning of May a little bird built its nest outside my bedroom window and began singing me awake every morning between 3:00am – 3:30am. At first I thought, how sweet! But that did not last long as this became an every morning occurrence and I was getting worn out from a lack of sleep. After about a week of this I came to the conclusion this little bird must be on East Coast time and I began to pray it would adjust to PDT. However, this did not happen.

It was during this same week I sensed God asking me to “Be still”. Everywhere I went I’d see a sign, a verse, or in my reading these words would pop up, “Be Still”. God often speaks to me through these types of repeated occurrences so I knew, it was him trying to get my attention. However, it can be a challenge for me to be still for long periods of time as my mind begins to race to other things I feel need my attention. It really takes quiet and discipline. The next week I made a point to sit quietly and pray over the things I felt God was nudging me about but after no “Ah Ha” moment I became frustrated. Not to mention I was growing impatient with the little song bird waking me up every morning at 3am.

One thing I know about God is when he wants to teach us something, show us something or tell us something he can be relentless in trying to get our attention. For this I am thankful as I long to know more of God and understand his ways. I am thankful he pursues me with the intent to bring me closer to him and closer to the things he has for me.

So I found myself becoming anxious to unlock this secret of why God needed me to be still and why was this bird waking me every morning at the same time. No matter how much I tried during my meditation and devotional time I found myself struggling with my inability to wrap my heart and mind around what it was God was asking of me, and questions of what, when, how, what, when, how began to race through my mind.

I wanted my “ah ha” moment!

It was after a month of waiting and being woken up by the song bird when I was sitting in Mariners Saturday night service listening to our high school pastor preach. While wrapping up the message he touched on surrender and how important it is to “Be Still” in order to know more of what God has for us, and may be asking of us. Now I know this, I have learned this and I have practiced it. But for some reason God was calling my attention back to being still and I found myself asking, “God, is there something I need to surrender?” I thought I had finally surrendered everything when moving to So Cal but I could not help but feel there was something I might be hanging on to. Our pastor preceded to describe a guy holding onto a raft with one hand while in the water and using his other hand to help keep him a float and I knew I’d been there before!  That feeling of having to hang onto something vs. just letting go and letting God.

As I left church I was conflicted in my ability to “surrender” but more determined than ever to see myself as God sees me, and to learn of what it was I had not completely let go and trusted God for in my attempt to Surrender all things.

The next morning I pulled out my Life Group lesson and as I turned the page there it was again, “Be Still”. And then I thought about my new visitor who sings me to wake every morning and there it was, my “Ah Ha” moment!

It was in that hour of no distraction I discovered I had my heart wrapped tight around some things I’d considered surrendered to God. Apparently I had kept my grip on some things God wanted back. My heart was moved by the truth of how God has my back and knows what breaks my heart and what brings joy.  And so it began to make sense to me. God was asking me to be still so he could show me the things I had yet to completely surrender. The concerns I’d been hanging onto.  He wanted all of them so I could be free to spend time with him and learn more of who he is and what he has for me.

Who knows our heart better than anyone? The One who formed us in the womb. The One who placed our heart and soul divinely into our human body with the hope that we’d discover our great need for him.

So in my inability to surrender all to God he stepped in and began singing to me outside my window through a little bird. During the day he worked to capture my attention through my readings, billboards, and through the words of others in hopes of getting me to be still and quiet long enough to hear of how surrendering is the beginning of learning to trust him in and for all things. I’ll have you know my song bird is no longer waking me up so I must be doing ok for now.

Psalm 84:3

The bird also has found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and My God. How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?